Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for August 07, 2013

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    thirdguy  almost 9 years ago

    you should check online first, it’ll only take a second!

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  2. Stewiebrian
    pouncingtiger  almost 9 years ago

    The printed newspaper has been shot dead for awhile now.

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    Linguist  almost 9 years ago

    Scorpio: You stare adversity in the face and dare it to shoot down your plans. Don’t let the little things get to you.

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    Three Steps Over Japan  almost 9 years ago

    Squad Leader: “Oh, sorry, that’s yesterday’s paper. Here, hold this while I run to the newsstand.”

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    wrwallaceii  almost 9 years ago

    Horoscope? That’s about as reliable as the U.S. Constitution these days.

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    watmiwori  almost 9 years ago

    You will join the big shots….

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    William_Zhu  almost 9 years ago

    I always get Horoscope Alerts from Yahoo!, which are too vague to be of any use.

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    Hugh B. Hayve  almost 9 years ago

    Aquarius- “You are a large lizard-like creature, with a series of yellow under-bellies….”

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    Varnes  almost 9 years ago

    Maybe check the obits….They usually do those in advance…..Can I see the sports section…?

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    edclectic  almost 9 years ago

    His horridscope should read: there is no longer any mention of you…anywhere.

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    Destiny23  almost 9 years ago

    Considering 1/12th of the world’s population shares your horrorscope every day, you can’t expect too much personalized detail!

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    JudyAz  almost 9 years ago

    Maybe he should check the obituaries?

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    puddlesplatt  almost 9 years ago

    I checked with five palm readers and got 5 different reports, I wonder which one was the real me?

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    Vet Premium Member almost 9 years ago

    At least they are not using bananas.They fire and all they hear is “clicks”“OHHHHHHH! Were we suppose to load the guns first??”I am surprised however no one has mentioned Obama about this. (Oh I did.)Guard: “Do you have any requests?”Prisoner: “Yes. I request not to be shot and sent home.”Guard: “Well we have to grant last requests. Off you go.”

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    Justice22  almost 9 years ago

    Ron, You better ask Nancy.

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    banks00wv  almost 9 years ago

    It does…it says “a whole new world of opportunities awaits you today”.

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    ChessPirate  almost 9 years ago

    Well, it does say “You will be going on a long journey”.

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    dflak  almost 9 years ago

    Avoid arguments with men carrying automatic weapons.

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    danketaz Premium Member almost 9 years ago

    Good Day to give up Smoking

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    hippogriff  almost 9 years ago

    Western astrologers claim I am a Taurus, even though the sun was in that long extension of Pisces and hadn’t even entered Ares when I was born. Asian astrologers say my sign is the cock. I think the whole thing is a cock and bull story and sounds fishy.

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    eddi_tbh  almost 9 years ago

    I have always lived by the stars. A little side street near Grauman’s Chinese Bakery.

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    lindz.coop  almost 9 years ago

    It’s covered under the part that says “today you will experience a life-changing event.”

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    JP Steve Premium Member almost 9 years ago

    “Today is the first day of the rest of your life .”Blew that one didn’cha!

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    Caddy57  almost 9 years ago

    Just once I wish my horoscope were half right! but since it is just a writers assignment…..no chance of that happening.

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