Monty by Jim Meddick for March 03, 2021

Although not quite correct, “ear today gone tomorrow”.

That’s a lobe low.

Just don’t let him talk you into the Vincent van Gogh look.

Neither friend, Roman, nor countryman will lend him THAT ear.

“If we need some extra skin, we can take it from your nose.”

Anybody notice that Monty’s in a GOWN for an ear surgery consultation?

“We have a special today on the Ross Perot lobes.”

How is Monte going to wear a mask while his ears heal? Maybe he can come to Texas. The gov lifted the mask mandate.

Those gowns are a great idea. And nobody has ever suggested they are somewhat stupid.

And of course the “Lyndon Baines Johnson”!

But I’m thinking those last two guys are older than Monty? Wouldn’t they have longer lobes?

I knew a woman who got a nose job to fix asymmetrical nostrils. They did a great job, but I made the mistake of asking her what she intended to tell her future husband when her child was born with her former schnoz. She burst into hysterical, snot bubbling, inconsolable tears.

How about the Stephen Colbert?

“Which side?”

Monty’s Hollywood Hacker is going to lop off just the right amount of lobe to make Monty look like a movie star, or actor at any rate? I don’t think so.

But it is cosmetic surgery, so, whatever makes you feel better about yourself, Montague….