Monty by Jim Meddick for October 12, 2016
October 11, 2016
October 13, 2016
Transcript:
Ah ha! A fly! Here's my chance to try out this electric fly swatter! Wait! Wait! Don't do it! It's not fair! You set that fly up!... Left th' window open... Practically welcomed it in!... All just to test your demented new gadget!!! You... You're right. The fly's just another one of God's marvelous creations and I... Ssss Bummer. It got toasted on the overhead light fixture.
Reminds me of the time a couple of buds and I tried to rid my house of a bat that had somehow perched itself on the kitchen curtain rod. Lacking the proper chemicals to do in the flying rodent, I gave him a pretty (un)healthy spray of regular ol’ Raid, which did little more than make him, well, drunk. My friends showed up a little later, and we wound up chasing the bat around the living room with various implements of injury or capture. One of them made the bat change course right into the path of the other’s tennis racket. When the bat first came off the racket, he was heading right at me in the dining room. As I ducked behind the doorway, the bat’s flight path turned into the living room wall, after which, the bat now stunned or dead (I didn’t care which), we picked up the dormant critter and tossed him out into the night.