Last Kiss by John Lustig for December 03, 2021

Can i help you fill that bed up honey.

Hard pass

How do you handle half pregnant?

“I just had my nails done.”

With a few lessons her bed would be all full.

So…. In what condition is your “love box”? Or are you like this only at certain times of the month?

Reminds me of a joke from ‘Just Shoot Me.’

“Of course I was there when you were born! I was in the waiting room, drinking brandy and smoking a cigar.”

“That’s terrible!”

“You think I should have been in the delivery room?”

“No, I just realized that you could smoke and drink in a hospital, and these days you can’t do that in a bar.”

Half full = half empty.

Look at the fingernails on that dude! I think she’s milking a dry cow!

Not only that, but some idiot keeps putting a pea under my bed every night.

If I were him the empty half of the bed would be mine.

OK, I’m going to go ahead and ask. What the heck is in that bowl the woman has in front of her?

A Simple NO Thanks would have sufficed !

Optimistic, aren’t we?

Wow, am I a lucky man! Back at my store I have on sale a single size bed.

Go on….I’m listening….

HER: “Your perfect hair, flawless skin and pedicured nails! Why do I always attract the gay guys??? Wait, you do know that I’m a chick, right?”

HIM: “Well…now I do.”

He: Leave the glass half empty, but I will full your bed in many ways.

Sometimes I have a hard time believing just how much of what I believe is beauty in women was formed before I was ten.

“In other words, as soon as I finish my ice cream and you pay the bill, I’m taking the rest of the bottle of wine and going home, ALONE. You didn’t say you were a smoker in your profile! That makes you a liar AND bad in bed.”

“Then let’s fill your glass now and your bed in a little while.”

Ooh a red head, have fun in the in the half empty bed.

When her glass is empty, her bed will be full.

On the glass, depends on wether you’re drinking or pouring. The bed, coming or going.

After she finishes the bottle, the glass and whatever’s in the pot, maybe her opinion will change.

Well, I am here to full fill your wishes

some people just aren’t into women with half of a right arm.

and now she’s got his full attention…

Need help to full fill your b…er… wishes?

She’s not his type. Wrong plumbing.

“Let me fill you up, top you off.”

well, HERE….let me fill your glass AND your bed!!