Ink Pen by Phil Dunlap for February 25, 2013
Fritz: Bixby, someone said you bit them? Bixby: Relax, Fritz. It's just my side business. Fritz: You're selling rat bites? Bixby: I'm selling self-esteem! It's all part of my new diet craze. I give them a debilitating disease and the pounds just melt away! Here, take a pamphlet. Fritz: "Plagued by fat? Plague it back - with bubonics!" Bixby: And we've got a surprisingly low death rate.