Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for September 24, 2021

See eh, are de-eye, gee eh ’en spells cardigan.

Also, not fleece. Beyond fleece. Carded, washed, spun and woven.

You need the hood for the rain. If people in Seattle quit doing what they were doing every time it rains, nothing would get done.

You probably need a hood ornament for that cardie.

You can find pictures of sweaters with hoods, cable knit and otherwise, but they’re mostly worn by women models. The Internet brings the world’s questionable fashion choices before your poor, bleeding eyes before you have a chance for second thoughts.

I can imagine a hoodless hoodie. How about:

A dustless duster?    A bombless bomber jacket?     A pealess peacoat?

I go blind when wearing a hoodie backwards…

Bro, forsake toxic masculinity.

BROTHERHOOD

Mr. Rogers doesn’t need your pasty, wimpy Euphemisms, bro. He rocks his cardigans – made by his mother – like a boss.

… I like hoodies…

…every time I flip the hood up…

…I feel like Obi-Wan…

…I hold up my phone and say…

…this is not the droid you were looking for…

…of course, if I weren’t working for Samsung it would work better…

…a cardigan does make more sense than a hoodless hoodie…

…ie. a sweatshirt!…

…don’t you think?…

…I thought you would…

Aaaah! I remember the button down cardigans and the turtle necks! So neat and distinguished.

Today, forget it!

Today, Kids look like they ran into a mixed bag of threads, ripped, shredded, torn and mismatched.

Every generation has their trends….

Wow, a couple of lookers in the ’hood. Must be doing a photo shoot.

And a highly creative art setup: a group of fabric cutouts from Vogue and Butterick patterns.

I don’t see their man buns.

Cardigan gets its name from Lord Cardigan, Raglan from Lord Raglan and shrapnel from Sargent Shrapnel. The NCOs do all the work while the officers try to look all dandified in their tailored uniforms. Raglan’s sleeve was invented to allow him to better remove his jacket after his arm was blown off at Waterloo.

In Saskatchewan hoodies are called “Bunnyhugs.”

Mr Rodgers likes you just the way you are, but Mr. Robinson lives in the hood and will steal your rims, leaving you rimless, carriageless, and cursing the hood. Put that in your bespoke pipe and smoke it. Whoops, no, apparently you are matchless as well.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8EhgQsMsdsU

Mini shawl collar in chartreuse.

I sense a frockus coming on …!

He thinks he is a flower to be looked at

And when he pulls his frilly nylon panties right up tight

He feels a dedicated follower of fashion

Bah! I protest vehemently! I wore a couple of cardigans over the years and was quite fond of them, particularly of a knubbly grey one, in which I appear in certain photos.

Stop cardiganphobia!