FoxTrot Classics by Bill Amend for February 03, 2009

Meh….

Pathetic…

I never saw the movie, was it really that bad?

It was great…very long, but great.

Celine Dion makes me cry too. Canada’s version of waterboarding.

Wow, do my fellow Foxtrot readers have some “Titanic” baggage? Do tell…

I can share something hilarious I saw on VH1 when “Titanic” was dominating the media…Tom Petty was doing a live set in support of his album Echo, and before he played “Room at the Top” (good song, BTW), he wanted to pay homage to “Titanic”, because, as he stated with no small amount of sarcasm, “Everybody likes Titanic”.

So he sang a song written on the spot whose lyrics were:

Titanic…pretty good song; Titanic…man, that boat was long; ’twas gigantic…Celine Dion… Shoulda been on The Titanic…

I still giggle when I think about it…

Every night in my dreams I see you, I fee…(glubglubgurgleglub)

The movie was a no-brainer. I mean, come on. The boat SINKS, people!! Was anyone expecting a different ending?

For the longest time I thought I was the only person in the world who disliked this movie, the ending was so bad, ugh !

it’s the virus…of emotionality!

What I read about the movie is basically this: Sure it was visually impressive and all, but the characters acted according to crude plot-function rules instead of doing what actual humans would do; and according to obvious 1990s sensibilities rather than 1912 ones.

My mother warned me away from it, said it was boring and insipid, then it felt like it took 3 hours for the final scenes with all the victims floating around.

I never seen it, but what’s so emotional to get about it? So a ship sinks, there’s been tons of those from the day it’s been filmed and I never see her cry then!

75 guys named Bob.

I remember listening to the song on the radio before seeing the movie and thinking, “Not bad.” It’s after you see the movie when the song really hits home. Every sad moment of the movie flashes through your mind when you’re listening to it. Although it wasn’t as heart wrenching for me, I can understand Andy’s reaction.

Titanic (the movie) was a James Cameron vanity project, adding a lame plot to what could have been a fantastic premise for a movie. The special effects were amazing, but the characters might as well have been cardboard cut-outs … and the soundtrack. Wow. As a Canadian, I am deeply sorry to the rest of the world for allowing Celine Dion to be exported.