FoxTrot by Bill Amend for September 01, 2013
TV: Are 70-foot prehistoric monster sharks secretly lurking in our oceans?!? The answer may surprise you! If you're stupid. Have mermaids been discovered?!? And is the government covering it up?!? Watch "Merspiracy: Something Smells Fishy" this Friday at 8:00! Brought to you by ace bridge sellers. Is this actual footage of an actual alien autopsy performed by actual doctors?!? Stay tuned! Jason: I'm loving this new cable channel. TV: Are you seriously waiting for the answer?!? It's "no," you numbskull!