FoxTrot by Bill Amend for March 06, 1998
Jason: Peter, I'm going to need your help. Peter: With what? Jason: As you know, I've been pursuing time travel as the solution to my recent Eileen Jacobson problem. Well, if my theories on the subject are correct, I'm going to need to exceed the speed of light, which is roughly 670 milion mph. Most physicists say it's impossible, But I say it can be done. Peter: Where do I come in? Jason: I've seen how you drive on the freeway. Peter: You're talking nine-digit speeds. I've only flirted with four.