FoxTrot by Bill Amend for December 15, 1988
Paige: Good, good. Morton Goldthwait is going to ask me to the dance. What do I do? What do I do? Think, think, think! Run. That's it- I can run. He has short legs. He'll never catch me. No, I can't do that. I could tell him I have a very horrible and contagious disease. I could tell him I'm gay. I could tell him I'm married. I could tell him I'm allergic to pimple-faced math nerds. Hee hee. Could you imagine the look on his face if I told him that?! Morton: She's smiling! Ask her now!