Dumbwich Castle by Lord Birthday for February 06, 2017

Transcript:

How to act like an adult Yes No Ticket me I'm sad 1. Wear adult clothes. Do not wear baby clothes. Those are for babies. 2. Carry a briefcase. Do not carry a doll's head and mutter, "Come with me, my sweet little head." 3. Get a job. Do not get a job as a candle jumper. That is not a job. 4. Buy a house. Fill it with relics. Shame = not a relic. 5. Eat salads. Great glorious salads. NO more meatloaf in the dark. No more taffy in bed. Why are you crying? 6. Ride horses. Do not ride policemen. You will be arrested. 7. Take a trip to Las Vegas. I'm sorry, you must. 8. Cough quietly. Never cough up a coin or a white stone or anything that may cause a person to point at you and exclaim that is a child. 9. Pray nightly. Say, "god, please make it so." It will not be so. And yet, and yet. 10. Remain cheerful. Chin up is a yes. Chin down is a no.