Surfboard waxing industry is dependent on him.
No lawyer wants a surfer on the jury. Unless, of course. his client is a surfer.
Heck, just tell ’em you work for a CHIP officer.
The law is going to surfer, er… suffer here!
Zonker’s a free waxer.
I think just ASKING for a surfing exemption would get you banned from the court and possibly sectioned!
The two best are, know/related to someone in law enforcement OR, a (ex)felon. Bonus points for being related to both.
I had an uncle who was shot in the stomach by an irate employee, and a friend who was kidnapped at gunpoint by a fleeing bank robber. Those two things got me excused from two different cases that involved guns.
George Carlin had it down for avoiding jury duty : just say " I can tell he’s guilty JUST BY LOOKING AT HIM "!!!! lol
Your honor, we the surfer jury find him guilty, and recommend you hang 10.
That doesn’t count Zonker! Sorry! I’m not sure, and I could be wrong, but I think they do give you money for being way from your job.
Just go into the courtroom smelling strongly of weed, and ask how often they give you smoking breaks.
Zonk does his best work under a time limit.
Just tell them you can’t be impartial.