Dilbert Classics by Scott Adams for October 05, 2022

No brain function? A zombie.

as if he had any brain functions before the accident anyway

It confirms what I’ve suspected all along.

I’d drop him off at the senate building…

So basically exactly the same as he was before the accident, right?

Sounds the same! Are you sure he had the surgery?

Make a U-turn, take him back to the hospital, and drive away really fast.

So, no change then.

Too bad that Reagan emptied out all the asylums….

that’s cause he ain’t got a brain to begin with.

I’ve had bosses like that.

Double the pay and cut the work hours in half

First thing I thought was, “What accident?” Then, backtracking to yesterday when Alice hit PHB with the “Stone of Quality,” that was no accident. And even if it was, how could you tell the difference?

Just drop him off anywhere, just not his workplace or congress.

take him to Wally’s cubical, then go get Alice…!

Someone needs to explain to the doctor that the PHB never had any brain function, so medically he is fine.

No brain activity? Huh, it appears they pulled the plug, and it didn’t help.

Hmm, it appears the only way to keep a PHB from “managing” is to take his head clean off… Maybe.

Now that’s prioritizing the paradigm. :)

One company I worked for required sales people to make 5 sales calls a day, in person or phone calls. They figured the average call made x amount of dollars, so to increase sales they started requiering 6 calls a day.

Why?

The PHB has no brain function, so this is something new?

Scott, how about an arc where the boss gets really smart and considerate, revenues go up, employees are happy, the engineers find girlfriends, and so on—until the boom drops!

I can’t see that anything has changed since before the accident.

And if you hold meetings, all day, every day you’ll be amazed at the productivity change you’ll see

And the difference before and after is?

Sounds like he’s ideal to be a politician, strong candidate for president!

The doctor is right! No brain function whatsoever!

He babbles nonsense to driver Dilly, though I grant it’s hard to distinguish from his pre-accident babblings….

Dilbert, why are you even driving him back to the office, when you could have just left him in the hospital? Is this a case of "Better the devil you know . . . "?

So, in other words, no injury, all functions normal for the PHB