. . . or an industrial-strength tablecloth.
Pictures hide things on your walls too.
The table has character!
From jeans to furniture, people pay a lot of money for something that has that distressed look to it. Seems to me that table has seen a lot of distress. Next stop, Antiques Roadshow.
For once I agree with the group. Dings and dents are are part of family history.
If you want distressed furniture, hire semi-professional moving men for a thorough job.
Just use some fine-grain sandpaper to remove the burn mark, and some wood fill for the teeth marks and the missing chunk from the skates. Sand smooth and stain and perhaps polish with some car polish.