Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 17, 2012

Yeah I like how he’s just holding his beer.

Me think dees not good play for you Larry.

Well, at least one (that old bugger that died laughing)!

. . . mebbe not, but you’ll feel better about not getting it . . .

Larry een for beeg disapoin’

But I’ll bet he does a great death roll.

My ex-wife’s baking wasn’t exactly a death roll…

I’ve seen the behind-the-scenes at some community theaters, and, frankly, I’m not surprised that Larry at least got a try-out. But he seems “not right” for any part in Mary Poppins!

I bet he heard “Mary Poppins,” and saw the poster of a lady flying in the air….He put two and two together, which in his mind is…. I dunno, maybe 7 and 1/2.

"Hey, dis play all about somebody pop dis flying lady in sky!

Oooh… me want part poppin her! Pop pop pop! Lotsa poppins."

I recommend MacBeth…..

Isn’t Mary Poppins that movie that stars Bruce Willis?

Give it up Larry. You’ll never be able to say, “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.”

“Ees this Mary Poppers like jalapeno poppers?”

Super-croca-fragilisticexpialidocious

Larry is “Nearly perfect in every way” just like Mary.

Larry: “Dominate. Keel lots people. Eet guy’s hed.”

Director: “Oh. OK. Go sit over there with the other stage mothers.”

Obviously Mary Poppins Needs Some Updating

The Community Theater will present “Enemy at the Gates” as this year’s Summer Production.

Perhaps Larry could “accidentally” pop off some people if he got the lead roll, and just crashed into people as he was flying around in his magic umbrella.

And noone actually noticed that ‘I-am-freakin-art-community-director’ kind of guy. He’s brilliant!

Larry could be one of the first nannys that the children run off or in the cartoon sequence as a penguin.

Rat would be perfect in the theatre.

He could play a baddie.

LOL xxx

Is there a community play version of “The Expendables”. Larry would be excellant for that.

He might prefer Chitty Chitty Bang Bang; the flying car would really make zeeba-hunting easier.

Larry gives very clear directions for writing a script that actors will LOVE…

Larry is wacko.

Its a shame it wasnt Hamlet…spoiler…pretty much everyone is killed

Or the pushy bank guy in marry poppins. Personally that’s close enough to what he wants.

the body count was everyone in the theater

The crocodile of Time bearing the END of Peter Pan and the whole fantasy…

Tick Tock

Larry in Wonderland, beeg grin.