Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for May 31, 2012

her bed looks neater than mine ever has though

You want me to do what with that vacuum?

when it’s playing dirty to get defensive

Double the med’s or cut them in half…

A dirty sock can be very scary depending on who’s sock it is.

Okay, since Danae doesn’t clean her room, she’s got to know that Lucy’s being paranoid. Right?

It has to be a tentacle….since when would Danae wear a white sock?!!

Or it could be a plain old dirty sock so ripe it’s got a life of its own.

Compared to my sons, that room looks immaculate.

The monster will get you, Danae!!

Obviously nobody cleaned out the monsters under the bed…

BTW, I’ve always wondered where the mate to that sock that is always hanging on the end of the bed like a totem….Maybe an anti monster totem? Kids dirty socks could definitely strike fear into any monster….well, unless they’re weirdos….Sniff? You smell somethin’?

I LOVE the third panel. It reminds me that Danae is a child, standing there on the bed with her little bare feet – a precocious, cynical little beast, but nevertheless a child. And the expressions on their faces… priceless.

The monster is probably afraid of Danae and that is why it is hiding under her bed.

Worry about the sock only if you’ve seen it crawl out from under the bed – clothes that are dirty enough to move on their own are dangerous!

This is why you shouldn’t go overboard with house-cleaning: it only disturbs the monsters.

After my son outgrew his youth bed, I got him a waterbed. A waterbed does not have a space under the bed. Therefore; no monsters. He just turned 46, still has a waterbed. The only monsters that bother him are on top of the bed with him.

Being a slob is a nice safety feature, and that sock is only a problem if there is still a foot in it…left over from the last child that the monster got…(that’s what I told my kids! Ha-Ha! Not really.)

So now we know the truth, Lucy is Danae’s alter ego. All this time we suspected. What was that lurking in the mind our little girl? Wiley the shadow knows……

When my boys were small, their mom would put skin cream on them after their evening baths. When one asked what it was, I told them, “Baby sauce, so when the alligators crawl out from under your bed, you taste good.” Their mom was horrified, but they found if funny.