Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 16, 2011

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    SarahPlain  over 12 years ago

    Mayonnaise is far more likely to kill you in your sleep due to clogged arteries…

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    perceptor3  over 12 years ago

    “Homicidal Mayonnaise. . .” There’s a rock band name waiting to happen!

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    Sisyphos  over 12 years ago

    I never did like mayonnaise. Rat’s fear-mongering only reinforces my aversion to the vile stuff. The only thing we have to fear is, mayonnaise itself!

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    lombre  over 12 years ago

    I look forward to Rat’s upcoming story on how our computers may be trying to strangle us during dinner.

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    kreole  over 12 years ago

    Miracle Whip is the only solution.

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    x_Tech  over 12 years ago

    Breaking NewsViewers are cautioned about reading GoComics.There may be horrific puns lurking about, especially in the neighborhood of Pearls Before Swine.Our medical advisers recommend that readers;Have your meds at hand, and tocompletely swallow your coffee or breakfast beverage before viewing a strip. This is for your safety and the safety of those around you.An addition note:Be sure to refrigerate your Mayonnaise, it moves slower when cold.

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    GROG Premium Member over 12 years ago

    There’s a flaw in your statement, Rat. I neither stock mayo or Miracle Whip or even catsup in my house. I only buy the finest of mustards.

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    Kvasir42 Premium Member over 12 years ago

    Hey Stephan, if I get you to speak at my event, can I make it a staff meeting and you can threaten them that Rat will hit them with a bat if they don’t start doing their jobs right and quit whining? I can’t promise beer on site, but there are tons of great restaurants around and Japanese beer is very good. Not to mention sake’.

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    hariseldon59  over 12 years ago

    Killer condiments.

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    DocOmics  over 12 years ago

    Here in El Paso, they celebrate Cinco de Mayo. The “highlight” is a big cook-off where you have to create five dishes using mayonnaise as the theme ingredient.

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    karandpr  over 12 years ago

    Rat finally a Dream job. First job where his employer praised him.

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    McGehee  over 12 years ago

    I knew it. Every fast-food joint in the world is putting that murderous stuff on their burgers, and all this time I thought they were doing it by choice. Now I know the mayo must be forcing them into being its accomplices.

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    loner34  over 12 years ago

    Steve has captured the evening news “daily scare” perfectly!

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    TWODAN  over 12 years ago

    How comfprting to know that in this unpredictable world, where so much can go wrong, there is a caring, concerned journalist like Rat to calm our fears with his hopful reports.

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    corzak  over 12 years ago

    Glenn Beck can demonstrate how emulsified French condiments are slowly converting American youth to Fascist Euro-socialism. He can draw it on his chalkboard.

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    Number Three  over 12 years ago

    That is hilairous!

    Hehe xxx

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    mac47  over 12 years ago

    MSNBC.

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    HaroldPalmer  over 12 years ago

    My mayonaisse went bad, stole a car, led cops on a fifty mile chase and died in a horrific shootout.

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    Atrius5000  over 12 years ago

    He is so right on with this one.

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    rgcviper  over 12 years ago

    Parts of panels 2 and 3 sound like a scene off of “Family Feud” …

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    Jeffpaul  over 12 years ago

    Mayonnaise—one of my favorite things— :-O

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    billtjr52  over 12 years ago

    Mayonnaise is really healthy and unclogs blocked arteries.

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    philphan25  over 12 years ago

    You don’t even want to know about the ketchup.

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    Sherlock Watson  over 12 years ago

    At this moment, dozens of victims are being transported to the Mayo Clinic. =rimshot=

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    silentshadow  over 12 years ago

    typical garbage absorbed(and thought to be true) by a normal american.

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    clarkins  over 12 years ago

    Thats what newz stations do

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    Blossoming  over 12 years ago

    This is great…

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    KZ71  almost 10 years ago

    “Wow” is a rare PBS punchline, but it’s effective.

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