Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for June 11, 2005

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Hardship On The Homefront True War-Watching Tales Television: Today, insurgents in Iraq... CLICK Man: BORING! What's on Pay-Per-View? America finds itself caught in the grip of a war so boring and repetitive, citizens can scarcely stand it! CONTRACTOR KILLED ABUSE OF PRISONERS Woman: It's the drip, drip, drip of insurgent attacks and U.S. troop deaths! I CAN BARELY PAY ATTENTION! The military tried to offer a respite with its FAKE war-watching tales... JESSICA LYNCH Jessica: You'll never take me alive! PAT TILLMAN Pat: They got my buddy! I'm goin' in! When the truth emerged, it turned out to be too boring to bear, and even more excruciating boredom set in. Television: ...Army Sgt. Stephen V. Evans, Army Spc. Clifford Wilson, Army Staff Sgt. Juan Est, Marines Capt. Darren... Man: YAWN Daily Telegraph Chimp To Testify For Jackson Even shocking news of the political origin of the war couldn't pierce the veil of monotony. Television: ...that Bush had decided to invade Iraq as early as 2002. Man: Bush lied? That's so 2004! In desperation, the American citizenry almost turned its attention to a more "interesting" situation... Television: And in Darfur... CLICK Man: WHEW! Television: Elizabeth, I'm comin' to join you. But thought better of it. So the war drags on, with the growing apathy a concern to ALMOST all... George W. Bush: The Patriot Act II will allow agents to obtain evidence without judicial... Hey, am I boring you? Good.