Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for February 19, 2005

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Did You Know? This week -- OSCAR The Academy Awards ceremony. Some call it the Super Bowl of televised competitive events! Others call it the Oscars of Awards shows! Others simply say: "Fun Facts!" Expect a special humanitarian Oscar for BRAD & JENNIFER whose breakup bought us RELIEF from TSUNAMI coverage! A dream come true. If Jamie Foxx wins Best Actor, there will be RACIAL EQUALITY in America. Finally! An asterisk will be placed beside KATE HEPBURN'S 1934 Best Actress Oscar, as it was revealed that her performance was steroid-enhanced! The Oscars Are Fake! They're a HOAX, created in a soundstage outside Las Vegas using special effects and trick lighting. So why aren't they as good at math? Women have won almost as many acting Oscars as men. WAY TO GO, LADIES! Not sure what to think? The numbers don't lie! MICHAEL MOORE has more career Oscar wins, but JESUS CHRIST got more nominations this year!