Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for October 23, 1999

Transcript:

hey, america! enough confusion! how many times must america's current hodgepodge mixture of metric and english customary measurements cause hopeless confusion before we settle on one system, disastrous misunderstandings will contonue?! president johnson, we can't win a war in a jungle almost 20,000 km away! why, ah kin throw a football that far! how much would we have to erase? about seven dekameters of tape. oh, they'll never notice that! hey, that indicates over 10,000 pounds of pressure! aren't you concerned? oh, no. three kilometer island is safe at that level. uh, wait a minute... capatin hazelwood, there's a reef coming up at 500 meters! great! then i've got time for a quick liter of vodka! so waht do the polls say? what's the weight of public opinion behind me? i'd say about a gram. fabulous! i'm off to kennebunkport! how can we be sure the glove will fit easily onto o.j.'s hand? there's about a cubic centimeter of extra room. great so he can't fake a tight fit! well okay, monica... but i refuse to violate ant of the eight commandments ruben - please make sure finished art is no longer than 33cm - Ed