JumpStart by Robb Armstrong for February 02, 2023

Why spend money on headphones? Benadryl is much cheaper.

I keed, I keed.

Amazing revelation

Only 5 hours by 747 from San Francisco.

Never go direct to Hawaii from the east coast. Fly to LA, SF, SD, or even Vegas, spend a couple of days there, then fly to Hawaii. You’ll be happy you did.

Is everybody flying at the same time? You’ve got Joe’s family, plus all the groomsmen and their families and all the bridesmaids and THEIR families, and any other Philadelphia guests, and of course Nicole and her Dad. I hope it’s a huge private plane because there’s going to be about a hundred people going.

Marcy is looking at the optimistic side, and Joe is looking at the realistic side!

And every iPad you have available. Yes, I do want to sign up for every kid friendly streaming service known to man.

Oddly enough when I flew from LA TO Paris it was about the same flight time as NY-Amsterdam. I can thank the polar route for that one.

Try to get seats together!

Noise cancelling headphones were a very good investment for me. Don’t scrimp on your tools. Eleven hours from Minneapolis to Japan. Must have been a great circle route.

And by quality time, you mean being stuck on a plane with a bunch of weirdos for half a day.

Airplanes + Children ≠ Quality Time

Twelve hours sealed in a flying sardine can with bored children. What’s not to love?

Judging by that snow,Hawaii probably looking pretty good.

At least it’s not the longest flight—-to Australia from anywhere.

And I heard it can take an entire day to fly the length of Russia

CRAM COURSE—Old 1960’s comic book—DENNIS THE MENACE IN HAWAII

“What did you determine from the wreckage cockpit black box recordings?”

“Can’t tell, just a bunch of children screaming.”

make sure the batteries last more than an hour

My mom and I flew to Hawaii waaaay back in ’93, we flew from DC to Honolulu with a layover in LA where we actually stayed on the plane, we were joking with the flight attendants about putting up new curtains, maybe a painting, possibly a throw rug…

It’s not quality time.