Brewster Rockit by Tim Rickard for January 28, 2023

He’s unfit in more ways than one.

One time I was 41 minutes old.

Want to give your fitbit a nervous breakdown? Take it to a hardware store and hook it up to the paint can shaker.

However, since Cliff was wearing them at the time (don’t ask) and so it counts.

And, since you asked. Cliff saves time by not undressing before putting his clothes in the laundry. It also save time because he doesn’t need a shower after putting himself through the delicate cycle.

That’s the strategy my kids use. They then wonder why I start screaming at them.

Attach it to a dog’s tail

I once forgot to take off my fitbit before going to bed,. The next morning it told me that my vigorous bout of “self release” I had just performed had gone for 8 miles.

I am amazed it survived at all.

Now you’ll have to try to exercise your warranty.

“Were you wearing it at the time?”

“No.”

“Then let’s try again.” And she shoves him into the dryer.

I accidentally destroyed two Fitbit 1s that way

That’s got to be some kind of oxymoron, Cliff with a Fitbit. It probably tell him “You’re dead”.

Wait! Cliff did his Laundry?