Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for December 09, 2022

Underwear are the last things Santa is going to remove from the presents list.

Well Santa sure isn’t going to bring you weapons, Calvin.

It isn’t every day you get a perfect snowball…..

Calvin’s probably gonna get a dickie if they still make them.

If you have a grandma it’s guaranteed to happen

One perfect snowball in hand is worth two possible presents

No Calvin, he just adds one more lump of coal……..

Time and snowballs wait for nobody, Calvin.

Underwear for Christmas deserves a snowball upside the head

You’re lucky he brings you anything,you should see what the homeless people with families get brat!!!!

So there seems to be a quasi-monetary link between snowballs and Santa’s presents? The birth of Elfcoin!

Santa (aka your mom) is going to be bringing you underwear, no matter how many snowballs you do or do not throw.

Put in the freezer for Boxing Day.

On Monday, someone commented that Hobbes wasn’t waiting to pounce on Calvin that day because Mom greeted him. I replied that I am not sure whether Hobbes loses his ability to do things in front of people other than Calvin or whether they just can’t see him doing them.

One argument in favour of the view that Hobbes cannot do things when someone other than Calvin is seeing him is the time when Calvin left Hobbes with a water balloon to throw at Susie but Susie took it away from Hobbes whom, of course, she saw as a doll. However, there was a Sunday strip similar to today’s daily in which Calvin was with Hobbes and planning to throw a snowball at Susie but Hobbes told him that Santa Claus might not bring him presents and then angered Calvin by saying he should now admit that he likes Susie to make up for planning to snowball her. This started a fight between Hobbes and Calvin:

Susie: Calvin, what are you doing?

Calvin: Fighting. Go away!

Susie: I’m not sure which is more weird. That you’re fighting with a stuffed animal or that you seem to be losing?

My point is that Susie could see Calvin was losing the fight even though she could only see Calvin fighting Hobbes and not Hobbes fighting Calvin more strongly.

As Watterson has explained, “Calvin sees Hobbes one way. Everyone else sees him another way.” The question is whether Hobbes can actually do things in front of them but they cannot see him do them or whether Hobbes can only do things when completely alone or with no one but Calvin.

Yes. Guaranteed.

Well, after that complaint yesterday, I think that that may be all he brings you!

You might a well throw the snowball. No rational holiday elf is gonna deliver weapons of mass destruction to kids!

Underwear is the modern equivalent of a lump of coal.

And when Calvin grows up he’ll be asking questions like “How many bouquets of flowers and boxes of candy will I have to bring to my wife if I decided to come home drunk after going to the strip club with the boys?”

Santa is not an accountant. He doesn’t keep a balance sheet.

He IS bringing you underwear. Throw the snowball.

A conscience is a terrible thing to waste. On par with a great snowball.

Calvin is weighing the odds. There’s no reason not to throw the snowball if he’s getting underwear, but if he’s not getting underwear then he doesn’t want to risk not receiving a present he really likes or wants. To throw or not to throw, that is the question…

But, when you think about it, what are snowballs really for but to throw?! So Calvin would be naughty to not fulfill the snowball’s natural purpose.

Underwear is what bad boys get, so go ahead and throw that snowball, it won’t make a difference

They need to keep a close eye on Calvin. He can turn anything into a weapon. WHERE has Hobbes been lately? Calvin needs him.

At your age Calvin, five pairs of underwear at one time can be your only defense!

“Paste someone upside the head with it”. Hilarious, because I’ve used that phrase several times.

Throw one and you can scratch off the arc-welder and chain saw from your wish list.

Life is about choosing your battles.

If Calvin lived in my area (southeastern MA), he wouldn’t have to worry, since we usually don’t get snow until AFTER Christmas…

I was going to say, “Would you rather do without underwear?” But then I remembered that sometimes he voluntarily streaks outdoors.

Not really related to this. But when I was really young, my mother once said Mrs. Claus was in charge of the clothing for her husband. What might Calvin think of that?

Oo, oo, can I make this political??

… or lumps of coal. :)

One less present is random. They’re all wrapped anyway. Santa probably just throws out the biggest package to lighten his load.

And Calvin wonders why he never got real weaponry for Christmas.

Sorry Calvin but the things you want are the first to be removed from the list.

Maybe you should just worry about Santa’s presence at your house

Tube socks.

But seriously, folks. Has anyone ever gotten underwear from “Santa”? The closest I have ever come was as an adult when I got really neat socks from some friends. Those, of course, were very much welcome!

You forgot buddy, underwear keep your butt warm.

“Would be nice to know if Santa were bringing me more underwear.”