Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 23, 2022

Pick a busier intersection.

Come on, Rat, you know that only happens in drugstores.

Maybe he’s behind you, Rat.

Rat imagines he is on the internet, or at least doing a stupid TikTok video…

Rat clearly lives in an alternative universe.

Gonna be a long wait, Rat.

Rat’s epitaph: Wait for it…

When I post comments on Reddit, I wonder if I will win a Nobel prize in economics for these comments.

So you is AlbRat Einstein, eh, you briliant genius you.

Feeling a little sheepish but I kinda relate to Rat…

Dream on Rat, dream on!

Works for Calvin everytime… ;)

Well, it certainly hasn’t worked for me.

Yes, He’s out standing in his field.

That’s my life, Rat, and it’s a good one.

Back in the day many movie starlets were supposedly “discovered” by just sitting at a counter somewhere and looking pretty.

Rat claims to be a genius, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Ah, yes, because genius can be discovered just by looking at it. That’s not how it works.

Actually, that outlook is a component of NPD – Narcissistic personality disorder. Rat has a ‘people problem’.

I’ve been taking a similar approach with the cats. I post pics of them online with the hope that one of them goes viral (like Grumpy Cat) and that sweet cash flow starts rolling in.

So far however, bupkis.

Hmm. Okay.

Rat, you’re a genius and you deserve a better life.

(And now that it’s been said to you, good luck with that. snicker)

Influencer Syndrome?

In 1980, I did sound for a bandleader whose business plan was quite Rat-like; he was going to play covers on the Midwest hotel-lounge circuit until he got “discovered”; then he could make an album and go play Vegas.

Yeah, didn’t stick with that one long….

Dreams of grandeur with no effort put forward….not in this world, RAT!

Come on, at least Calvin has a conscience, compared to Rat.

Even if he does walk by and say that, will he actually be able and willing to make Rat’s life as good as Rat deserves?

Yeah, not happening

Seems like it should be Goat and not Pig in this particular strip.

I tried that once, many decades ago. Results were unsatisfactory.

Tell Rat to sit at the counter at Schwab’s Drugstore

doesn’t he have to go to Schwab’s Pharmacy or something?

The place for self-proclaimed geniuses is the stable.

If rat really wants to be noticed as a genius he should strike the thinker pose. Most people seem to think he looked intelligent.

One day, it’ll work.

Actually, with Pig standing next to him, Rat does look like a genius.

Or if he starts telling everybody he’s a stable genius, some people will believe it.

Keep dreaming, Rat. In reality their going to walk y and say “Look at Rat sitting there like an idiot.”

I hope that Rat brought some snacks. Cause he’s gonna starve….

Sorry, Rat, I’ve been waiting for decades, and I actually AM a genius. Yes, that’s my story, and I’m sticking with it.

Let’s just say, don’t be expecting a MacArthur Grant, Rat!

Pig, move over so we all can get a good look at Rat….

Doesn’t Pig’s last line seem more like something Goat would say?

Meanwhile actual geniuses are hard at work on our problems without any notice from the world.

The few people who will say such things to you very likely have something to sell you.