Cul de Sac by Richard Thompson for September 28, 2022

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack over the LED candlestick so he wouldn’t burn his trousers.

What’s Alice doing? Cat’s cradle? Gauging breadth of chair vs. child-size egg?

Jack and Jill didn’t run up the hill. The end.

Jack and Jill went up the hill, they both had a dollar and a quarter. Jill came back with two and a half, they didn’t go up for water!

Where’s the slapstick; where’s the yuck, yuck?

Alice has a splinter*

Alice is out of it, still bemoaning her lost marshmallows at breakfast. Next time, give her an egg to eat.

Humpty Dumpty, sat on a wall,

But kindly Miss Bliss was worried he’d fall.

So cautiously Humpty, sat on a chair,

But she pointed out that he could still fall from there.

So Humpty Dumpty sat on a mat,

A wall fell on him, and Humpty went splat.

It seems Alice is engrossed with a loose thread and not paying Miss Bliss much mind.

Mary had a little lamb with mint jelly.

I noticed yesterday Miss Bliss was holding “ Advanced Mother Goose”. Now we know what that means!

Alice seems bored… I look like that at meetings, especially if there’s a Power Point presentation…

I like Dill’s version better!

There are various theories of an original “Humpty Dumpty”. One, advanced by Katherine Elwes Thomas in 1930 posits that Humpty Dumpty is King Richard III of England, depicted as humpbacked in Tudor histories and particularly in Shakespeare’s play, and who was defeated, despite his armies, at Bosworth Field in 1485.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humpty_Dumpty

Tough crowd

Humpty dumpty tastes great with bacon and hash browns – yea i know it doesn’t rhyme but i am hungry

Sheesh, come on Miss Bliss! Even the kids know, to make an omelette, you have to break a few eggs! Childhood should not be sanitized! Well, ok, Dill could use a little sanitizing, what with the sticky fingers and what-not.

And the lesson we learn from this, children? That life is meant to be lived safely so nothing bad ever happens to you. And if does, it’s not your fault and it is the obligation of EVERYone, from the government to the person you pass on the street, to make it right for you, as YOU determine what RIGHT is. SHEESH!

The kids are right!

It turns out, sadly, that Miss Bliss’s Advanced Mother Goose is really just a bowdlerized version, watered down to be totally “non-offensive” and Politically Correct….

I never knew Humpty Dumpty was Canadian.