Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for September 18, 2022

One time I weighed four pints.

One time I had $847.64, and this was quite a one time.

May the Lord be with you as He is with me.

What’s the world’s second oldest toy? A rock?

Stick: oldest toy hmmmmm and still a dog’s favourite.

A French woman and a Spanish man had recently gotten married and moved to Spain.

The woman could not speak Spanish so whenever she wanted to buy chicken legs, she would raise her skirt a little and show her thighs which the seller understood.

One day, she wanted to buy bananas so she brought her husband with him.

As her husband could speak Spanish.

A guy limped into a Dairy Queen and ordered a banana split.

The attendant began to make it for him and said “Crushed nuts?”

And the guy said, No, I just have a bad knee."

A Banana Walked into a Doctor’s Office. He’s sitting in the exam room when the doctor walks in, head buried in a patient chart, not really paying attention.

“I’ve got some bad news. You have stage 4 cancer, and it’s very aggressive. We’ve caught it way too late. I’m afraid you only have two weeks left to live, Mr. Orange.”

Looking up from the chart, the Doctor is startled to see that he must have walked into the wrong exam room.

Taking a deep breath, he sighs and says “well…….. I bet you’re glad I didn’t say Banana.”

Dare I ask why the bananas are considerably radioactive in this Sunday panel??

I need to go back to sleep, so this is it for now.

Knock knock. Who’s there? Banana. Banana, who?

WE’VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU ABOUT YOUR CARS EXTENDED WARRANTY.

I know. Pretty stupid.

Until next time.

Can’t imagine a medley of “Yes, We Have No Bananas,” and “Radioactive” by The Firm.

After competing in an “all you can eat banana contest” high school student, Beater Barker felt nauseous. He went home then discovered that he had all the powers of Bananas!

As he aged, he got horrible skin spots, and turned a mushy brown. But people said he has a delicious aroma.

I beg to differ! ~ Irving Rock, toy of toys right from the beginning.

Take care, may Simpson’s binge watcher Amarillo “Hay En Eso Algo Más De Lo Que Se Presume” Guzmanord be with you, and gesundheit.

Boudreaux walks into a barbershop and ask, “Bob Peters here?” The barber says,“Nope just haircuts.”

Wonder what kind of junk is in Ben and Jerry’s junk.

I have a dog who prefers sticks and rocks to most toys.

The world’s oldest weapon is probably a big stick (club).

…and the oldest form of entertainment is the shtick.

I remember when the world’s oldest toy store was still around: Sticks R Us

I hope the kid didn’t pretend his/her stick was a gun.

Three pint of ice cream a day would ruin my diet. What do Ben and Jerry offer in terms of healthcare, especially nutrition guidance?

bananaman bananaman does whatever a banana can…

Store Manager “Yes, we have no bananas. We have no bananas today.”

Always laugh when these ‘experts’ put out, what it costs to raise a child. What they really need to do is break that down, and show us how they came up with that number.

Ben and Jerry’s gives employees three pints of ice cream a day to take home, not to eat there at work every day.