Brewster Rockit by Tim Rickard for July 08, 2022

Except that he’s not too close, he’s using the most powerful telescope ever.

As Porky Pig would say …“That’s all, focus”.

Caution. Super novas in mirror are larger than they appear.

“Back off buster,”

“Sheesh! Can’t a Proxima Centaurian star-bathed in the @#$&ing nude anymore?!

Reminder …

Through Telescope: Objects will appear closer than they actually are.

The aliens are far away so the hyper-tachionic particle rays they send to Dr Mel will arrive in minus .003 seconds.

Good bye Dr Mel!

In a related story, scientists have finally discovered the last digit of pi. God’s middle finger.

the rest of the universe is on high alert from any contact with the destructive morons that run planet Earth ( and the destructive morons who put them in power to be destructive)

Hawking has spoken publicly about his fears that an advanced alien civilization would have no problem wiping out the human race the way a human might wipe out a colony of ants. He noted that human beings have a terrible history of mistreating, and even massacring, other human cultures that are less technologically advanced — why would an alien civilization be any different? Oh No they found us!!! Uh-Oh, We’re In Trouble, Something’s Come Along And It’s Burst Our Bubble (Yeah, Yeah!)Uh-Oh, We’re In Trouble, Gotta Get Home Quick March On The Double!

Who is mooning us? Callisto?

Obviously more advanced than we are — they used “you’re” correctly.

I figured it out. The aliens are waiting for us to form a one-world government and prove we can at least get along with our fellow earthlings without always being at war somewhere before introducing us to real aliens.

It says: “Mind your own business”

Other message possibilities: “To Serve Man” and “We’re Coming For You”

The great thing abou the JWST is that it allows us to look much farther into the past, closer to the time when the universe was very young.

Real neighborly folks.

It reads: “Lrrr of Omicron Persei 8 for galactic ruler.”

Don’t tailgate planets. They have the right of way.

“So, you ever been to Earth?”“Earth? Oh, you mean those creepy pervs with the telescopes?”

First time I saw that phrase was in a Fantastic Four comic back in the 60’s. It was on the Thing’s shorty pants.

If it was the Hubble telescope, it would be an eye chart.

“We’re sorry, due to technical difficulties beyond our control — oh, forget that, it’s all YOUR fault!”

The Correct quote is: “If you can read this, you are too D###ed Close.”