Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for July 05, 2022

One good golf story deserves another, right? Did I say “good”? Well, here’s another golf story anyway:

An older couple, both avid golfers, are discussing life. The wife asks her husband, “Darling, if I died, do you think you’d remarry?”

The husband thinks about that a few seconds, and then says, “Yes, I suppose I would.”

“And would she sleep in this bed?” she asks him.

“Yes, of course she would, if we’re married.”

“Would she drive my car?”

“Well, sure. Why just leave it in the garage?”

“And would she use my golf clubs?”

“No, absolutely not,” comes his adamant response.

“She’d sleep in this bed and drive my car, but not use my golf clubs? Why is that?” the wife wants to know.

The husband replies, “She’s left-handed.”

Famber Illary One time I was 296 feet big.

One time I was 4.3 miles tall.

So the jellyfish go through a midlife crisis.

May the Lord be with you.

While there are a number of “biologically immortal” organisms, which can renew their cells infinitely (or at least, until something else kills it), this s the only species I’m aware of which can actually age its entire body backwards.

However, their lifestyle is apparently so risky that few individuals make it to the age where they go through this process, without being eaten first.

Miss Fillary’s feat must’ve been breath-taking.

If there’s one record that I wouldn’t care to break is swimming 295 feet in ice cold water.

Hmmm … wonder if Tech now has a degree in Hopscotch Engineering?

Never having played hopscotch i guess I wouldn’t be able to walk through that campus as I have no idea how that game is played.

Georgia Tech? Hop scotch? Why am I not surprised?

I wouldn’t mind going back to my childhood era but I sure as heck wouldn’t want to be a child in this messed up world today!

Well, it’s still up for debate as to which is the childhood state. I think it’s California, but others may differ.

Take care, may famed dad joke enthusiast John “The Ocean Didn’t Say Anything To Us It Just Waved” Cornballord be with you, and gesundheit.

It would have been far more constructive to build a hopscotch court leading from Georgia Tech to THE VARSITY hamburger stand.

and we’re to forgive student loan debt for hop-scotch?

I wonder how long it took for Amber to thaw out?

Great! Twenty years ago my wife and I were building a decorative concrete block wall in front of our new property. Not being a professional block layer I was extremely careful and used a level and a square on each new block which proved to be very slow going. One day a person driving past us stopped and asked what we would charge to build a similar wall on his property. I told him that if he paid us by the hour, he couldn’t afford us.

Let’s go North to Newfoundland for a laugh.

John sees a “boat for sale” sign and decides to go take a look…Behind the sign the there is only an old tractor and a beat up truck, so he goes to the door and an old newfie answers.

John says “I’m interested in the boat you have for sale”

The newfie looks confused and says “no bye, I ain’t got no boat for sale.”

“But” John says, “you have a sign out by that old truck and tractor…”

“Aye,” replies the newfie, “and dere boat for sale!”

Ripley looks just like Putin!

I can’t help but think somebody is trying to discover the fountain of youth using the cells of this jellyfish

We play hopscotch down at the local (Peggy Dempsey’s in Maspeth, NY) but we use real hops & real Scotch!

I posted this one yesterday but, I guess I forgot to hit the comment button to send it! (Growing old ain’t for sissies!) Anyway, without remembering where I stole this from, here goes! Two elderly gentlemen share a room at a Nursing Home and in the middle of the night one of is awakened by the sound of the other gentleman banging his fist violently on the wall! “What the heck are you doing, Sam?” “I just woke up with the first erection I’ve had in 30 years and my darn hand is asleep!”I’m going back to sleep now! ;o}

RBION forgot to mention that Ms Fillary was born with gills, an important oversight

I could find precious few jokes indexed as “hopscotch” jokes. This is perhaps the best of a very weak group.

A boy is playing hopscotch outside the VaticanWhen suddenly a middle aged man runs out shouting “Hallelujah it’s a miracle!” as he runs around the courtyard.

Curious, the young boy yells out “HEY! Mister, why all the yelling?”

The man runs over and grabbing the boy by the shoulders says “You will never believe it! I just saw the Pope put holy water on a Woman and she passed a baby!”

The boy rolls his eyes and very matter of factly states “Aww that’s nothin! I put turpentine on a dogs hind end and he passed a motorcycle!”

Until next time.

Underwater? Uh, OK. How about this?

When people go underwater in movies, I like to hold my breath to see if I would have survived in that situation.

I almost died watching Finding Nemo.

The Turritopsis dohrnii, or immortal jellyfish,

Can do what many humans rather seriously wish:

When subject to a sudden drop in temperature or salt

Or starved or greatly damaged, it reverts to its default—

That is, becomes a polyp after something like a cyst

Or else becomes a stolon, and the first stage might be missed.

In time, it forms a colony to bud and then release

Medusae like its grown-up form and thus may not decease.

Genetically identical medusae, more or less,

Are found across the oceans. That’s survival with finesse!

The process of their cells is called transdifferentiation.

It might reveal the secret to our own rejuvenation.

—me

So the immortal jellyfish has to repeat puberty to stay alive. Well, that certainly changes the picture on immortality.

I haven’t hopped or scotched that far in a while.

Yikes took me quite a while to scroll down and make a comment… I’m beginning to think these jokes are getting out of hand…

Maybe a punishment for delinquents for the school would be to hopscotch a whole lap around the campus.