Brewster Rockit by Tim Rickard for May 25, 2022

One time I got to be caller number 5.

Called an airline’s 24-hours service desk number some months ago. I was calling in the early morning (about 3:00 am, Central time) thinking I could get a quicker connection. Was told that the projected wait time was 15 minutes. Approximately 165 minutes (2.75 hours) later I finally got an service assistant.

I commented that I thought I could get quicker service calling outside the busy hours in the daytime. The assistant told me that the service center only has about 20% of the number of assistants at 3:00 am than they do at 3:00 pm, so it actually could be a lot slower early morning than at “peak times.”

Joke on me, huh?

Not too important or we would hire more people to man the phones, but since you are accustomed to waiting, Lila and Boyd will have to do.

Ringing up one place recently, my call was so important to them it took 3 minutes to get through the automated messages (which were repeated numerous times) to the point where I could ‘select one of the following options’.

Ridiculous.

Every call starts with two lies… “your call is important to us” and “our menu has changed so listen to all ten ambiguous options and then select the wrong one.”

And then they wonder why people are angry when someone does get on the line. I feel for those poor slobs who can’t find better jobs.

They forgot the “Have a good day.” part.

At least they’re honest

Writing a letter to the CEO with copies to a few US Senators and consumer watch reporters at local TV stations takes fat less time.

Hey, at least it’s an honest automated answer!

At least they tell Pam the truth.

I have to call American Airlines once in awhile for some things I can’t do online. Usually, I’m told there is a XX wait time and I can request a callback without losing my place in line. Better than being on hold for two hours and I usually get the callback in less time than stated. I’d rather have a human at the start but this is acceptable.

That was Microsoft’s Bhopal India call center.

“Or if you’d rather, we can call you back at this number. But it will be so long, you’ll have forgotten that you’re expecting a call back and you’ll send it to the spam filter. Your choice.”

this is not a comic strip, this is reality.

I tried to call the Employment Development Department in California. Every time I call, I’m told there are so many people waiting I cannot even get in the queue. $22 Billion dollar budget surplus but NOOOOO cannot answer the phone for disabled people. WTH?

There is safety in distance, but is it possible to be far enough from Pam to be safe?

What kind of fool finds out?

My dream is to be Seven of Nine.

And she calling to get an appointment with anger management.

Pam’s anger is justified….

Did somebody program an “honesty subroutine” into this system? If so, it needs a little tweaking.

My other suspicion is that the programmer was planning to head for the hills, and decided to play a joke — or get revenge — on the company before departing.

I had to call my credit card company recently. After 10 minutes of navigating menus to get to a live operator, an automated voice announced: “Your estimated wait time is 30 minutes.” A while later it reduced to 15 minutes…then went back to 30 minutes…and back and forth a few more times until returning to 30 minutes. After almost 2 hours, I finally got through. I put my phone on speakerphone the whole time and was cleaning, so it wasn’t a total waste. Turns out the entire bank was suffering outages, it wasn’t just my card. That explains the long wait times, but not why they cannot afford a system that takes your number and calls you back at the appropriate time.

What about the survey where you get to express how you felt about how your call was handled?

Your call is important to us . . . because when you hang up in frustration, it’s recorded as a very short customer support call. That looks great in our metrics.

Customer Service is a lost art.

This looks like a job for Irritable Belle!

I once called a manufacturer looking for replacement parts for my RV outside rear view mirror. The greeting said “if you are over 65, press 2. Otherwise, press 1”. I had no idea why my age mattered toward buying spare parts, but I dutifully pressed 2. I was immediately put into a different queue where they tried to sell me a life-alert bracelet. Needless to say, I was pissed. I need a part for a mirror, not to talk to Vince to sell me a Shamwow.

She’s getting the same “Customer Service” rep that Lemont gets over in Candorville.

https://www.cartoonistgroup.com/properties/candorville/art_images/cg5f9fc2ea98409.jpg

Paying an employee costs us money; YOUR time is free. To us.