Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for April 13, 2022

Huh. That last bit doesn’t sound like you wish them well.

The first line makes me think of this bit of appalling medical trivia:

https://www.webmd.com/men/what-to-know-about-foreskin-restoration

Due to a manufacturer’s recall, Chunky-Miracle Vomit will not be available in the Froglandia Bath Mat Factory cafeteria until further notice. Reports of a banned food coloring agent being used have triggered a halt to production and a recall of unused portions for examination. We are assured that the Füd and Drüg Overlords will find no banned dyes in the product and that it will be restored to the desert and snack menu shortly. We apologize for the inconvenience.

No . . . I said I am bored again.

 

ᴛʜɪs ᴊᴜsᴛ ɪɴ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ғʀᴏɢ ᴀᴘᴘʟᴀᴜsᴇ ʙᴀᴛʜ ᴍᴀᴛ ғᴀᴄᴛᴏʀʏ ɴᴇᴡsʀᴏᴏᴍ:

[insert sound of clattering teletype here]

Theresa Burritt has quit cartooning to become a country music songwriter.

Did brachiosaurs vomit chunky miracles?

The ole’ heave Ho eh?

I thought I was gonna die one day in 2020!

Choked and vomited so violently my whole body tingled. Called 911 and rushed to hospital…sat in ER for 5 hrs still coughing violently…Finally they went into the bottom of my lungs to retrieve two pieces of meat…..

So always check your lame skin, chin and fat ass before eating!

A haiku“X” Marks the kiss SpotRain clouds are clouding my brainHallmark made this card?

Kiss my aura, Dora.

Teresa is baring her cellulite-cursed cheeks for all to behold but never hold.

Left X is buried treasure..

A bout face forward March..

Face the butt cheeks.

WARNING: Frog Applause is a random factor, disturbing our universal algorithm.

Whoa!

Hide the kids, it’s a Centerfold aft skin …!

The Xs mark a whoopie cushion placement for direction.

Rain drops keep falling on my cheeks. Oh, no, that’s just Frog Applause miracle vomit. Martha, release the hounds! That streaker is back!

Well, well, well! Someone is acting a little grumpy today!

Did ’ums have a bad night? Does ’ums hate the whole wide world? Is ’ums in a mood, as of sarcasm? Do you always moon ’ums audience in the morning with your “Brand X” nether cheek?

Cheekiness abounds, and we remain lamely attentive….