Ted Rall for June 13, 2002

Transcript:

Hey Police Officers! Pesky "Civil Rights" getting in the way of crime fighting? At first glance, it might seem like a stretch to declare an ordinary criminal a terrorist- but when you really think about it, isn't every crime an act of terrorism? (Woman: Relax, dude! I was only doing 62 in a 55!) (Police Officer: Mullah Omar would be proud of you!) Next step: Assign your perp an ominous Muslim-sounding name. (Woman: But my name is Kathy! I'm an Irish catholic from Milwaukee!) (Police Officer: Whatever you say, Ms. Atki Al-Aksa Bani-Sadr Al Alekeim.) Got no witnesses? No problem! You can hold anyone, even a U.S. citizen, without evidence! Merely declare the person an "enemy combatant" and the military will jail them forever... they won't even get a lawyer! (George Bush: If you have nothing to hide, you needn't hide behind some dumb "constitution!") Remember: When no one is safe, we're all safe! (Kid: I miss Mom.) (Man: I'll thank you not to mention Atki Al-Aksa Bani-Sadr Al Alekeim again.)