That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for February 01, 2022

After this tedious evening, all the women went to adult education classes so they could read themselves.

/// When A Reading, he did, From Molière,

all the ladies admired his hair.

No one understood much,

they knew German and Dutch,

but no female French speakers were there.

He thinks he’s being very witty and debonair, but the ladies wish that he would stop mansplaining and just finish reading the short story.

“Okay, here are the rules: we spin the bottle and who ever the bottle points to goes behind that screen…”

Horace having to decide who gets tonight’s final rose…

He finally comes to the point of the courtship ritual that attracted those women:

His bankbook.

Kathryn, here comes the good part. This is where he invites us one at a time in the next room for one-on-one counseling.

Mr Collins reading Fordyce’s Sermons to an appreciative audience (not the Bennet girls).

“Here’s what I want for dinner….”

i do not like them in a house

i do not like them with a mouse…

I can’t take my eyes off that hideous wallpaper. It’s too early for the green to have arsenic as a component, but it would kill me to look at it every day anyway.

The Very First Explanation: “Well, you see, Moe pulls out a tuft of Larry’s hair because Larry dropped the hammer on his foot, and THEN Moe drags a saw across the top of Curly’s head … it’s … it’s … funny! It really is.”

“But the eggs aren’t really green, right?”

“Now it’s this way…the sum of the square on the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares on the other two sides.”

Those dresses, that decor – this picture hurts my eyes.

For sophisticates such as these

Moliere is too broad, if you please

A dash of Corneille

Might brighten the day

Or Racine, that jolly old wheeze…

So, one pizza with mushrooms and one with anchovies. Anything to drink?

Here is our new handsome young vicar / Reading to the ladies from Scripture. / But his monotonous drone / Is rather well known / To put an unhappy twist in his audience’s knickers!

His discourse meanders and crawls on and on / Taking texts from Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. / It would have quite floored him / To learn the extent of the boredom / was making these ladies quietly stifle a yawn.

I heard the story in great detail. Philomena just upped and gave herself to Fredrick not realizing he was gay!

“Oh, yes, Frederick. Mansplain it to us some more. We are enraptured.”

While the sisters appeared to hang on to Gerald’s every word, they were really dreaming of hanging him! ( Well, except Beth, who was thinking about how well he was hung. )

“So I think I finally got through to that tiresome Mr. Dickens, ladies. When last he asked for money for the poor I said: “Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?” Next thing, his eyes light up and he runs off like a street beggar with a scrap of bread! I judge that he won’t be bothering us again with his bleeding heart!"

George, reading from: Fifty Shades of Grey.

“I thought this Molière guy was supposed to be funny.”

The family solicitor explaining the new excess cloth tax.

“‘…She tore off his shirt and revealed his rippling muscles as the wind wafted through his hair.’ Well, I think that’s enough of the story for one evening. Ladies? Your expressions are beginning to frighten me.”

I shouldn’t have been surprised when I discovered my picture in the dictionary, beside the entry for Mansplaining. But then -“Nobody ’splained that to me Lucy”

Where are the naked women?

A Reading from Molière: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Jean_Carolus_-_A_Reading_from_Moli%C3%A8re.jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2022/01/masterpiece-2870_31.html 

I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. So far 2 works, by this artist, have been used here. 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2020/08/07?comments=visible 

has the prior (my blog comment here links include the artist info URLs in my comment there).

The hope was that the garish decor would distract from their pasty faces. Oh well.

Obviously, Rodney’s reading Le Bourgeois gentilhomme since he’s afraid that the ladies might have some strange ideas if he read L’École des femmes.

the guy’s a vampire he has no reflection

"Oh! Here’s a good one…

’There once was a man from Nantucket…’"

Soon, there will be an invention called the AM radio; and when I read the Farmer’s Report, I will be able to put thousands to sleep. Thousands!