Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 28, 2022

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    BE THIS GUY  about 2 years ago

    Don’t go to dinner with Rat.

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    GeorgeInAZ  about 2 years ago

    Covid measures only apply to other people. Or other rats, in this case. Or other people who might be called rats.

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    Algolei I  about 2 years ago

    I think I’ll get a barcode tattooed onto my forehead so it feels more normal.

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    Caldonia  about 2 years ago

    Temperature thermometer, as opposed to the other kinds of thermometers.

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    hariseldon59  about 2 years ago

    ‘Temperature thermometer’ sounds redundant.

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    LastRoseOfSummer 1 Premium Member about 2 years ago

    If only…..

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    Templo S.U.D.  about 2 years ago

    Fellow grocery store associates and I used to have our temperature taken daily when coming in for our days’ shifts all the time until we stopped some time ago.

    (Shouldn’t maîte d’ there have a mask on if he’s taking patrons’ temperature?)

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    ronaldspence  about 2 years ago

    Inconsistent rules, incomplete information, incoherent guidelines, worn out populace. Kindness please!

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    B UTTONS  about 2 years ago

    Isn’t that the same “fathead” who phone ordered his coffee while waiting in line; and Rat told him off?

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    Concretionist  about 2 years ago

    This an excellent tool. Because ONCE THEY ARE INSIDE they’re customers, and “the customer is always right” The maître ’d has just prevented that. Good on ’im!

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    BasilBruce  about 2 years ago

    I’m guessing that they just don’t want any rats in the restaurant.

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    DennisinSeattle Premium Member about 2 years ago

    Wish I had one of those pain in the ass detectors, it would make my life much easier as a housing provider.

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    Vivi <333  about 2 years ago

    Anyone notice the “ristorante” heh

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    iggyman  about 2 years ago

    NO surprise!

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    nosirrom  about 2 years ago

    Last year there were 515 deaths of police officers. The cause of 353 of those deaths was COVID19. And yet police unions around the country are fighting vaccine mandates. Go figure.

    https://www.odmp.org/search/year/2021

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    blunebottle  about 2 years ago

    Rat probably registered right off the scale.

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    Gent  about 2 years ago

    Well, they wouldn’t wants to risk being shut down because rat infestation anyways.

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    Kurtass Premium Member about 2 years ago

    Shouldn’t he have been pointing it at his butt?

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    juicebruce  about 2 years ago

    Looks like drive – through for you Rat !

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    Count Olaf Premium Member about 2 years ago

    Could be worse. Someone could point something at his head in the parking lot and demand his money and car keys and he wouldn’t be pointing a thermometer. Quick! Call a Social Worker!

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    Jeffin Premium Member about 2 years ago

    Take the temperature of the room, Rat.

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    zerotvus  about 2 years ago

    I bet he doesn’t tip either………

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    silverclaw33  about 2 years ago

    I need one of those.

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    Croc Holliday  about 2 years ago

    I would probably not be allowed in the restaurant. I have this unreasonable expectation of decent service, meaning don’t just take my order and deliver the food. Do a checkback to make sure everything is okay. Make sure my water glass is not empty. Don’t make me wait twenty minutes for my check. Don’t expect a 22% tip if you provided the bare minimum service.

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    Imagine  about 2 years ago

    I prefer to check the restaurant to see if it deserves to have me there.

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    Kaputnik  about 2 years ago

    Pain in the @### customers can account for a huge percentage of your business. You can’t afford to turn them away.

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    Meg: All Seriousness Aside  about 2 years ago

    I’d eat there. If they’d let me.

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    YippiKiAyMofo  about 2 years ago

    Temperature thermometer? Oh, bend over!

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    Zebrastripes  about 2 years ago

    RAT is busted! Take out ok?

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    pheets  about 2 years ago

    My dogs are my butthead meters. Good at it, too. I trust them.

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    uniquename  about 2 years ago

    I want one of those.

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    hfelder7219  about 2 years ago

    Rat and Sarah Palin- two of a kind!

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    aerotica69  about 2 years ago

    Imagine how quickly the pain-in-the-a$$ thermometer would sell out.

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    TrulyTexan  about 2 years ago

    Yes, we need these everywhere. Maybe before you can leave your house!

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    wolfgang73  about 2 years ago

    They need one of those for airlines

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    rshive  about 2 years ago

    Of course Rat failed. Maybe they could go the the McBurger drive-thru.

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    WCraft Premium Member about 2 years ago

    Whoa. What’s gotten into Stephan lately? How about a cartoon depicting himself stirring a large pot? Guess I’ll need to bypass this one for awhile; I try to stay away from political cartoons this early in the morning.

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    Ellis97  about 2 years ago

    At least it’s going on your head. Not in your…unmentionables. We can’t be that obvious.

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    Flatlander, purveyor of fine covfefe  about 2 years ago

    The French language assigns gender to nouns, the restaurant here is male, le. Considering all the kerfuffle about gender identity, why haven’t all these nouns risen up in protest?

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    hoffquotes2  about 2 years ago

    Could be helpful for some servers also

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    Goat from PBS  about 2 years ago

    Well, it’s limiting if you’re a pain-in-the-butt customer. Don’t be a pain in the butt, and you’ll have no problems.

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    Cozmik Cowboy  about 2 years ago

    The Illinois General Assembly passed a bill that gave unlimited paid sick leave to public school teachers & state university professors, and other staff at both for COVID-related absences. Gov. J.B. Pritzker vetoed it – and negotiated a replacement bill that limited that benefit to the vaccinated.

    See, FL & TX – some of us have real governors, who care about their citizens!

    I worked for one of his opponents’ campaigns in the primary, but J.B. just made sure I’ll be phone-banking & door-knocking for him next time around.

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    ElwoodP  about 2 years ago

    He needed a thermometer for that?

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    ElwoodP  about 2 years ago

    Is that an Italian or a French restaurant?

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    unfair.de  about 2 years ago

    Failed? I guess he scored a solid 10 on that thing.

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    marilynnbyerly  about 2 years ago

    I listen to a lot of Reddit horrors at work stories, and, thanks to the extreme shortage of wait staff at restaurants, the workers are getting a lot more leah way to shut down and insult really nasty patrons. The restaurants need staff more than patrons who drive away other patrons and staff.

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    dimndno  about 2 years ago

    I want one of those testers for my restaurant.

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    198.23.5.11  about 2 years ago

    Begin mass production immediately!!Every restaurant should have one.

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    donwestonmysteries  about 2 years ago

    Weed out all the crazies and who’s left? You and me?

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    Coocalici  about 2 years ago

    Usually pastis does @$$.

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    Bookworm  about 2 years ago

    Captain Steven Hiller: I have got to get me one of these! (portrayed by Will Smith in Independence Day-1996.)

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    Johnny on the Spot  about 2 years ago

    Where can I get one of those?

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    Masterskrain Premium Member about 2 years ago

    Send THOUSANDS of them to EVERY AIRLINE!!!!

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    Bilan  about 2 years ago

    Failing a test for a pain-in-the-@## customer should be a good thing.

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    Obi-Haiv  about 2 years ago

    Must be a rectal thermometer, if it finds pains in the butt.

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    knight1192a  about 2 years ago

    Rat called it and the maitre d’ called Rat. Not only did he call Rat, he successfully shut him up and had him think he had been wrong.

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    Baucuva  about 2 years ago

    Man, I’ll bet anybody in retail wishes they had a pain in the a$$ thermometer.

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    Otis Rufus Driftwood  about 2 years ago

    Where was this thing before 2020 is what some businesses are thinking

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    edeloriea14  about 2 years ago

    I have had a temperature scanned on my forehead before I see the dentist to make sure that I’m ok.

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    mikeywilly  about 2 years ago

    THERE’S A METER FOR THAT?!?! Wow! All this time spent giving people the benefit othe doubt!

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    Sisyphos  about 2 years ago

    One [table?] for two [diners?] isn’t bad. That is, Rat is aware of his limitations, but he doesn’t know his temperature.

    BTW, I dislike snotty, sarcastic maitre d’s….

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    aussie399 Premium Member about 2 years ago

    That could REALLY catch on

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    artdekko  almost 2 years ago

    I worked in the hotel business for 40 years. Where was this device when I needed it???

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