That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for December 28, 2021

Soon as Venus was born, the hair and wardrobe people went to work.

“Look what the “seafoam” gave birth to. Get over yourself Venus and cover up."

Venus Scallopini?

That ain’t no oyster.

/// No surprise, viewers eyes will all dwell

on the pale naked girl on that shell.

Of these scenes, there’s no dearth,

showing Venus’ birth,

yet, why not of the other three tell?

/// There’s a twin to nude Venus who clings

to the blowhard who floats with fixed wings,

amid blossoms of pink

which fall into the drink.

Is her birth somehow helped by these things?

/// The third look-alike stands on the end.

She is clothed, and has fabric to lend

to the goddess of love,

but, when push comes to shove,

it’s an offer she ought not extend.

/// Every figure is part of the mesh

which makes each new reviewing seem fresh.

Her companions, unnamed,

will not ever be famed

as is Venus, displayed in the flesh.

Whenever an artist comes by, Venus’ clothes just mysteriously fly off.

Flora opened the clamshell packaging of her life size Venus action figure, not realizing the huge negative impact that would have on its future resale value.

Not being shellfish, she let herself be painted au natural. She never did get royalties from Adobe for using her likeness…

Look what the catfish dragged in!

Kipper herring snacks tonight.

Don’t be so shellfish….

Alessandro D. Botticelli

Is admired from Denmark to Delhi.

Venus “on the half shell”

Goes down rather well

Lovely Venus, with long, flowing hair

Of wolf-whistles garners her share,

Count Heinrich’s coiffure

Has equal allure

(Though only when Heinrich’s not there).

“Well, this proves it, in a side-by-side comparison the carpet does match the drapes!”

“Come on man, stop with the wind, I’m tired of chasing her clothes down the beach.

hmm, even back in those days they had clamshell packaging…

I know I said you had to come out of your shell – but, well, that escalated quickly.

At least she’s dressed appropriately in her birthday suit.

And Kilgore Trout is inspired.

Hey, she’s got a hair towel to dry her crotch !

Hey Venus, put on this garb, you are scaring all the fish.

Shelfie is the term that collectors use when they take photos to show off what they have.

The participants all said “Goddam !

This must be some kind of a scam..

She’s a pearl beyond price !

We need not think twice..

Every man “digs” this kind of a clam !”

…when that Brazilian doesn’t go as planned…

Air-dry or towel-dry? We’re keeping abreast of the debate.

So, born fully grown with a headful of hair but with none “down there”. I was ok with it all UP TO THAT REALIZATION!

Back in my college and university days, one of our favorite bar games was Botticelli. Our questions were always sneaky and creative … For those don’t know the game …. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Botticelli_(game)

She’s already thinking of a boob job.

Good to see she’s finally coming out of her shell.

this one goes in the "That is Priceless " HOF

Cronus castrated Uranus and threw his testicles into the sea. Out sprouted a naked Aphrodite riding a giant shell. Yet Aphrodite would become the daughter of Zeus, who was the grandson of Uranus. Go figure, crazy Greeks.

The Birth of Venus: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:La_nascita_di_Venere_(Botticelli).jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/12/masterpiece-2851.html 

I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. So far, 5 works, attributed to this artist, have been used here. 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2014/10/14?comments=visible 

has the prior (the 26 hyperlinks in my comment there have been deactivated, and the line breaks removed, but perhaps the text remains informative).

Hey naked daughter of Zeus

A libidinous lass on the loose

Factor in Aphrodite

it all gets so untidy

and ever so ripe for abuse..

A girl and a God as a goose ?

as absurd as a mouse and a moose !

A babe and a bird ?

it’s downright absurd..

Try to make sense of that – what’s the use ?

A babe on the back of a bull,

Who’s a god – (and a man in full !)

A bull from the sea…

Doesn’t sound right to me..

O’er whose eyes are they pulling the wool ?

“Let us worship Aphrodite

Though she can be kind of flighty

And she doesn’t wear a nighty -

She’s good enough for me.”

Parody of “Gimme That Old Time Religion,” quoted by Joseph Campbell on one of his mythology shows

clam daddy said.“i rather have a pearl” naked women are too hard to take care of.

Venus on a half-shell. She’s certainly no ninja turtle.

“I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMilo…”

I said “NO CAPES”! I must take this off of you.