Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for January 09, 2022

An East Ender is walking his bird through one of the seedier sections of London late one night when she sees a diamond ring displayed in a shop window.

“I fancy that ring, Luv,” she tells the young man.“Sure thing, Ducks,” he says. He then takes a brick out of his pocket, smashes the window, and grabs the ring. He hands it to the young lady who puts it on her finger, smiling broadly.A few minutes later, they start to pass a shoe store.“Oh, that pair would look grand on me feet, don’t you think?” she hints.“Well…OK,” he says, taking another brick out of his pocket, smashing the window, and grabbing the shoes.Finally, they come to a shop with a beautiful mink coat displayed in the window.“Hun?” she begins, pointing at the coat.He angrily cuts her off. “Blimey, woman – d’you think I’m MADE of bricks?”

Shilliam Watner One time I was 90 years and 206 days old.

One time I had 321 blue glass panes.

May the Lord be with you.

To pray for their soles, maybe?

‘Funny. They don’t look Blue-ish . . .

Well, who just leaves their paints and brushes just lying around…?

Just think, Captain Kirk went into space 213 years before he was even born.

“A SHOE!!”…..bless you

Shatner is looking quite blond in this illustration, but good for him. Glad he’s got the health to do these things—not everybody his age does, that’s for sure.

Speaking of health, I guess, a cannibal couple was eating a farmer together. “Isn’t the meat fresh?” marveled the husband. The wife groaned. “I am never, ever again waking up at 4am just for breakfast!”

Writing on the wall in the women’s restroom Star Ship Enterprise reads: “Where No Man Has Gone Before”

Saint Cinderellazilla church?

The day of Shatner’s flight, George (Sulu) Takei flung some pretty disparaging tweets in his direction. I just wanted to remind everyone that Takei is the reason that most of us mispronounce the word “kilometer.”

And now it’s worth eight hundred thousand.

Take care, may mincing high-heeled sneakers wearer Dickie “Listen, Can You Hear The Applause From Behind The Jealous Smirks?” Simmonsord be with you, and gesundheit.

Bwahahahaha!

Ah, yes, the Church of the Sacred Stiletto..

HBD, WS

Go Packers!!!

Season tickets to the Green Bay Packers, several NHL and CFL teams are often times bequeathed in wills.

Secret to a long marriage:

The pastor was preaching about making marriages last.

He asked Tony how he has kept his marriage intact for so long since Tony’s 50th anniversary was coming up. Tony said he treated his wife nice and best of all took her to Italy for their first anniversary. The pastor was impressed and asked what he was planning for his wife’s 50th anniversary?"

“I’m going to pick her up.”

The Shatner one, everyone and their mother in the universe knows it. So, I guess it’s a Believe it

That exhibit by Jonone was only worth $400,000 to a fool and his money.

So are they saying that people have been waiting since 1960 to get their Packers season tickets or is that when they started having a waiting list? If people have been waiting that long, a lot of them are probably dead by now depending on how old they were when they got on the list.

And afterwards, that painting was sold to some idiot for $3,000,000.

I think it’s commendable that Green Bay supports their team like that. I’m from the Cleveland area, and we support our Browns, but not like GB. They support their Packers no matter if they are winning or losing. I’m pretty sure the Packers are the only team owned by the city and not a private owner.

There’s this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, “If I hear that word one more time, I’ll quit!”

Everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had “fallen.” This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age.

About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. The priest said, “You have to do something about the roads and sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen.”

The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word. Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, “I don’t know what you’re laughing about, your own wife fell three times this week already, and your daughter fell twice!”

Never break the sanctity of the confession, Father.

Until next time.

judging by their politics, the Idiots who would sit out in the cold on hard benches and think they are “macho” makes perfect sense…In traditional Spanish a “Macho” is a sterile JACKASS…“And so it is written and so it shall be,” said the Prophet…

Browsing through Jonone’s web site brings up the question. How could anyone tell the “art” was changed? Damaged?

All of his work looks like random spatters flung on canvas by bored primates.

First Law of Art, Carmack’s Law, ‘If I can do it, it’s not art.’

How many years of art school did you have to go to to learn to splash paint on a canvas like that? If someone studies music for four years, they walk away with an ability to play an instrument and can do something I could never do or imitate. But you walk away with an art degree, and the best you can do is this? Something any fool can imitate? This is the best ya got? ‘If I can do it, it ain’t art!’