Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for December 03, 2021

It’s so simple that only a child can do it.

This is an apt collection of phenomena of the noumenon which is Frog Applause.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noumenon

…where’s Nicolas Cage when you need him…

…my Granddaddy used to say…

…“I only started figuring out women when I stopped trying to figure them out,”…

…the same with Frog Applause…

…if you want to start figuring it out…

…do not try…

…for there is no try…

…absorb…

…accept…

… obcess…

…abscess…

…no…

…wait…

…that last one went too far…

…there is nothing that you can do that can’t be done…

…except you can’t un-ring a bell…

…or un-release the hounds…

…(and I’ve tried…

…I have really, really tried)…

… Like I’ve told Bernard…

…sometimes I just go berserk…

…sometimes, Frog Applause is like the icing on top of a cake…

…other times it is like icing on top of your windshield…

…sometimes it’s like xoxox+ …

Top Coat shall be Trench Coat or Jean Jacket gone Parka Coat and Ladies for the corner pocket a Coat of Varnish…

Ok, I finalIy get it. Now, how about those LPs?

Safely behind her desk without a reprimand for being late, Amy pulled up her day’s plan. Her actual name was Amphitrite, but she went by Amy because it was so much easier for people to remember. Today’s most pressing duty was coming up with the data for new Aldermanic districts for Frogsbane, which would be supplied to the Village Council. The current maps were all quite acceptable, if not for the movement of people and their partisan preferences. Any reasonable partitions would have the Lagomorphs clumped together, as they tended to do, while the Plumers were scattered about across a wider area. This would upset the Salamanders, who required that their preferences were given a priority over all else, and tended to favor one group above the other. But none of that mattered to Amy, whose only concern was to compile the data and make it available. Well, and maybe to figure out why there was a fish biting her nose, still.

Oh, okay, now I get it.

Elvis lives in Froglandia? Who knew…

Today’s strip goes above and beyond; it achieves a level even more wondrous and opaque than the normal run-of-the-mill Frog Applause, if there is such a thing. I even noticed its clumpiness as it rolled over me. (That’s my usual approach each day: I just let FA wash over and around me. The result is my mind is reset and my body … I haven’t figured that part out yet.)

On the Nineteenth day of Frogsmas, the Resplendent Cartoonist gave to me . . .

Nineteen Lame Subliminals, Eighteen Haters Hating,

Seventeen Vlads-A-Pounding, Sixteen Romper-Chomper Thingamabobs,

Fifteen Twits-A-Twirling, Fourteen Captains Spacing, Thirteen Pickles Peeking,

Twelve Squiggly Green Jello Cups, Eleven Headless Music Box Dancers,

Ten Teresas leaping, Nine Annoying Relatives, Eight Cheesy Bread Winning,

Seven Yams With Sprinkles, Six McMuffin Alignments

. . . Five Golden Tater Tots! . . .

Four Squirrel Jerky, Three Mocking Frogs, Two Mince Pies,

And a Spork Hanging From a Pear Tree.

What is the radish doing to the cucumber?

If it floats, hop in, take ‘er for a spin. If it sinks, call a plumber; just watch out for the crack.

Thanks. I get it now. Great infographic.

Just as I suspected.

very good Ms. Applause!

Bravo!

While I appreciate the brainy hedgehog’s effort, I’m afraid a mathematical explanation of Frog Applause is far too complex for those of us who are not holders of advanced degrees in mathematics. I can’t even tell if this is applied point-set topology or some other application of Number Theory. Woe is me, poor Froglandian humanist. —And I try so hard to comprehend the incomprehensible!…

I overslept …!

The dog ate my homework.