Pickles by Brian Crane for December 05, 2021

Just rewards

Geeze. Don’t KILL them, they’re pest exterminators. I usually just help get them out of the tub or sink if they’re trapped… and if they’re big enough to be a problem for us our our guests, they get escorted outside. Which is kind of mean, this time of year…

This is almost exactly us, although I wash the dishes and we’ve hired a cleaning lady so neither of us sweeps or mops unless there’s an emergency.

Super.

I once threw a spider at my sister. It landed in her hair. She screamed…then hit me.

Earl what did you do with the body ?

Heh heh. He put it under her pillow.

Killing spiders really is lazy.

Removing them safely outdoors is a no-contact sport.

Spiders trump everything else.

we have the real tiny ones living in the cellar. Every year I vacuum up their nests as they tend to bite, like a mosquito bite!

If Earl takes a care of centipedes too, he’s like a superhero.

Earl has learned how to play his trumps.

The best part about that is one is expected to toss the evidence. Not really any way to check up on his story, one just has to take him at his word.

I had a black widow in the barn. I closed it up tight and put the fumigators in there over night, 2 fore the sq footage, I’ve since found 8 dead ones. Logic says the barn is full of them. Earl, when you get a minute.

I heard a blood curdling scream from the bathroom one morning with the sound of “its a huge spider”. Turns out it was just a big cricket, but I killed it with a toilet brush.

Turns out, it was Jimminy Cricket. Now they won’t let me watch Disney movies anymore.

Lordy!

You’re never more than 10 feet away from a spider

There’s no reason the old guy couldn’t go to the market. A big plus is, she could tell him what he did wrong and send him back. That’ll kill a whole morning.

It’s not that I go to the market to look at the girl pandas. Nothing like that. I can get, what she won’t buy. My girl seems to have a morbid fear of bananas and graham crackers.

Earl displaying a cunning approach to the question posed. This ain’t his 1st todeo!!

My amazing wife puts up with an equivalent sharing of duties. I just have to reach things on high shelves.

I hear you Earl. I’m on bug and critter duty at my house also.

I’ve read in several articles that the average person swallows 6 spiders a year in their sleep.

You are needed after all Earl!

“Now about that mouse in the pantry…”

I found a dead one in the bathtub this morning, does that count?

Is he smiling because they’re EVEN…… or because he got away with a LIE..???

SCORE: Opal-1, Earl-1

My now adult child was in early teens, always a great time to deal with kids. I returned home one time to find her standing on top of a toilet, screeching that there was a spider in the bathroom. I searched all over the bathroom, decided there wasn’t any, told her there was no spider, and left the room, shutting the door behind me.

She quickly realized she was inside a closed bathroom and could only get out by stepping down from the toilet and going to the door to avoid the imaginary spider. The noise from that room was enough to make me laugh for a long time! No children or spiders were hurt. I had told her to give it a name and make it a pet, to no avail.

My niece moved into a 19th cent. gatehouse in Virginia. She was tender-hearted but freaked about the spiders till her friend told her to look at their “toes”. If they walked en points, that meant they were web dwellers; this kept them from sticking to their own webs. They’d stay in their corners cleaning up the house. The flat-footers were travellers that might run across her pillow at night! They had to go! I don’t know if that’s true but it helped her sleep at night. I

Us men have only one responsibility.. kill something. And if by chance it happens to be something the little womans afraid of.. well, the rewards are enormous.

Yes, Bobby, most ladies don’t like spiders, snakes, or puppy-dog’s tails.

They’re fine, the cats do find and eat a few. Question: how many do we eat in our sleep every year? HaHa

The question is, did he really kill the spider or is he just saying that because he knows it will keep him from getting nagged.

I tell my wife that the spiders eat the bugs, that doesn’t seem to pacify her at all.

Some spiders I don’t bother with in the house; depends on size. Kind of accidentally vacuumed up a good size one yesterday that ran out in front of the vacuum. But if I see a black widow, it will be killed.