Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for December 05, 2021

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    jasonsnakelover  over 2 years ago

    Marles Choore

    One time I was 31 minutes old. One time I gave 1,001 girls facial treatments.

    One time I ran at 2 million one miles per hour.

    May the Lord be with you.

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    Templo S.U.D.  over 2 years ago

    How is it that goats have an immunity to poison ivy? Are they Batman underlings or something?

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    kingdiamond69  over 2 years ago

    Goats be like leaves of 3 are for me me me!

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    Bilan  over 2 years ago

    According to Wikipedia: Plastiglomerates form along shorelines where natural sedimentary grains and organic debris are agglutinated by melted plastic created during campfire burning.

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    OldsVistaCruiser  over 2 years ago

    Football stadium = soccer pitch in the States. Mules absolutely LOVE to eat poison ivy. I used to work for a tourist canal barge ride that was drawn by mules. These were retired Amish mules, and it was their daily exercise. Pushing a barge up to the mule pen was like pushing a car on a flat surface. Because this was a concession in a state park, it was literally a “walk in the park” for the teams of 2 mules. I even trained one lead mule to “heel.” I would get the passengers’ attention, say, “Spooky, heel,” hang her lead line over her harness, and she would follow me with her nose at my shoulder! She was so named because she got antsy when the steam train next to the canal blew its whistle.

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    therese_callahan2002  over 2 years ago

    “Goats won’t need an ocean of calamine lotion.”

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    Huckleberry Hiroshima  over 2 years ago

    B-AAAAAAAAA-AAAA (google translation from Goat to English): “Late at night while you’re sleepin’ poison ivy comes a creepin’ arou-ou-ou-ou-ound.”

    Take care, may obscure ‘50s disc jockey Blinky "Thank God It’s Not TV ‘Cuz I’m Cross-eyed" Martinord be with you, and gesundheit.

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    J. R. M.   over 2 years ago

    I would never have thought that there even existed a record of number of people getting a facial at one time. Do they also keep records of manicures? Pedicures?

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    J. R. M.   over 2 years ago

    Goats and poison ivy. Would that explain the awful taste of goat cheese? I wonder.

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    Lafsalot Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Goodness gracious!!

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    Lafsalot Premium Member over 2 years ago

    I eat poison ivy. But I put on my lip gloves first. Also, goats make me itchy.

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    Lenavid  over 2 years ago

    I wonder if that “metallic star” was headed for the Alderan System…

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    poppacapsmokeblower  over 2 years ago

    According to Wikipedia LP 40-365 was catalogued in 1960 and again in 1970. Wikipedia did not mention anything about 2017.

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    dv1093  over 2 years ago

    About that star story. Huh?

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    yangeldf  over 2 years ago

    hooray, our plastic pollution is now officially preserved in the geological record, now the sentient raccoon people who rule the world 10 million years in the future will know our civilization gave it a try.

    Also, for context, “metallic” means any atoms heavier than helium when referring to star composition. Having more of them means the star is younger because it incorporated more material from past generations of stars, instead of being made from the pure clouds of hydrogen and helium that made up the galaxy 10 billion years ago. For a high metalicity star like that to be moving so fast in the opposite direction from most other stars it must have been pretty close to a supernova, or got an orbital kick from a black hole.

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    Bilan  over 2 years ago

    How do they know that the ‘runaway star’ is made of metallic atoms just by seeing it?

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    Charlie Fogwhistle  over 2 years ago

    Late again, but better late than never. I’ll take what’s behind door #4 – Plastic. This joke is set in the UK, and for those of you not in the know, that funny symbol before the number refers to British Pounds, not Dollars or Euros.

    A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a £20 fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are £20 notes falling out of that bag.”

    “Oh, really? Darn it!” said the little old lady. “I’d better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.

    “Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop.“Where did you get all that money? You didn’t steal it, did you?”

    “Oh, no, no”, said the old lady. “You see, my back garden is right next to a Golf course. A lot of Golfers come and relieve themselves through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower Garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know? Then I thought, ‘why not make the best of it?’ So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers.

    Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, ‘O.K., mate! Give me £20, or off it comes.’

    “Well, that seems only fair,” said the cop, laughing. “OK. Good luck!

    “Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?”

    “Not everybody pays."

    So much for today. Until next time.

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    profbob  over 2 years ago

    Occasionally, the later ones are the ripest. Good one, worth the wait.

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    oakie817  over 2 years ago

    lp 40-365 took one look at us and said oh poop no i’m out of here

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    ex window inspector  over 2 years ago

    It took only 1000 women to fill a stadium? Must have been a small stadium. Or very large women.

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    finnygirl Premium Member over 2 years ago

    So if I find poison ivy out on the lawn, who’m I gonna call? Goat-Busters!

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    RetFor  over 2 years ago

    Hmm, metallic “star” moving opposite direction it should … spacecraft, anyone?

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    globalenterprize1990  over 2 years ago

    Goats are just nature’s lawn mowers to clear out poison ivy for farmers.

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