That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for September 29, 2021

The art class later turned into a measuring contest. There were no winners.

For King Gustav the third (quite a prig), / the nude model selection they’d rig. / Here, the youth Gustav chose / he first sees with no clothes. / “I don’t get it— his hands are so big!

The only problem with Clyde/ (aside from the length of his…“stride”)/ is the matter of seating/ at the annual meeting/ for he feels he has nothing to hide../// He is never offered the Chair/ though his qualifications compare/ with the best candidates/ because everyone hates/ to take second to Clyde’s derriere./// He continues to seek the position/ but his dream will not come to fruition/ He will never (we swear !/ take the Chairperson’s chair/ for we all hate his naked ambition !

Near the doorway through which he’d been led, / four nude statues filled Oskar with dread. / That pale, petrified crew— / had he known one or two? / Then they showed him the snake-coiffured head…

“Drawing for Politicians”— ♪♫"Sunday in the Riksdagshuset With Elias"♪♫

Arts Academy folks went along / when the King brought with him a great throng. / The shy model’s not proud / to be viewed by a crowd. / And they’re all thinking, “It won’t be long.”

Depends on how much they’re paying, doesn’t it?

In early cases of alien abduction, the flying saucers only managed to upload clothing, leaving behind a perplexed nude victim. Lady Godiva was another instance of this.

I had that nightmare again, where I appeared before the Senate Committee naked!

“I WAS IN THE POOL ! ! "

Kevin! Don’t bend over.

Kevin thought the “slave auction” was just another fund raising gimmick…until he found himself on the block.

Bloody foreigners. What the devil do you think he’s trying to say. Do you think he’s cold? Could be, there’s definitely shrinkage. Someone throw this beggar a rug.

A grower, not a shower….

Nuthin’s more ideal than to reveal your buns of steel in the mor-or-or in’…

Bill had only one job..get a stripper for the bachelor party. In hindsight he should have known that Terry wasn’t necessarily a girl’s name

The Congressional Committee of Nude Male Statue Models voted 25 to 3 in favor of William for the next statue.

lilliputians, feeling assured after all that size is no big deal…

Kevin? I thought his name was David.

When they said, “Now you take off your clothes,” / I said, “Well, all right, I suppose.” / But in fact, I’d have sooner / Sat down at a computer / Than show all these guys my, er, nose.

Just a bunch of dirty old men!

SOLD! To the leering old grey-haired man by the door.

Dude! Where’s my junk?

When they told him to take off his clothes/ a number of questions arose / like “do you think he lifts ?”/ “are those ‘natural’ gifts ?”/ and “could we find a more dignified pose ?”

“Gentlemen, this is exactly why we are here to outlaw tequila. It’s like I said, after ten shots you end up naked on the table.” Voice in the back..“let’s only outlaw it for men”

♫♫ Nice work if you can get it… ♫♫

The first rule of the naked men’s club is that you don’t talk about the naked men’s club.

This isn’t what I expected when I called 1-800-GOT-JUNK.

Blindly hired solely on the basis of his name, Peter Dragon proved to be a huge disappointment to members of the Swedish Snake Handlers Club.

Gentlemen if you look closely you will notice not all men are created equal?

It’s Wednesday! Everyone works on Wednesday! (arcane reference)

What tha, I paid to see the Elephant Man.

Ned, the nude model thinks to himself, “Damn, this is one sad bunch of so-called artists. Most of these old pervs don’t even pretend to be drawing me!”

Now that’s the way to work a filibuster.

He quickly ducked down the back stairs when he found he the winning selection for the Vivisectionist League.

King Gustav III Visits the Academy of Fine Arts 1780: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Gustav_IIIs_visit_to_the_Royal_Academy_of_Arts.jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/09/masterpiece-2798.html 

I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. First work by this artist used here.

Fashion show for the Emperor showing all the latest fashions from Paris. (I wonder which outfit he’ll choose. I’m getting a percentage of the sale price as my commission.)

A strapping young peasant lad/ on a pedestal, fully unclad !/ What is swell decoration/ for this gay delegation !/ And a good time by all was had…

“You’re probably wondering why I called you all here today…”

Revised version: Scattered among the artists are the last few six-year-olds allowed to sketch nudes before they were prohibited (due to a complete misunderstanding of what constitutes “child pornography.”)

trying out for Ft Lauderdale Gay Men’s Chorus, and voice plays a very small part.

Medusa lived mostly alone/ for her visage turned people to stone./ Still, a few times a year/ she would briefly appear/ as the orchestra’s lead trombone./// At those times, when the audience fled/ at the sight of the snakes on her head/ the critic’s agreed/ she should switch to the reed/ but she turned to the tuba instead../// She still turned people to stone/ but the critics admired her tone / which is poor consolation/ for petrification/ so she turned to the saxophone.///But her serpents objected to that/ for they noticed she played some notes flat../so she found a solution/ to this damned substitution/ but she’s keeping it under her hat….

Is the “model’s” head smaller than usual; or everybody else’s head larger than usual?

The model walking down a “runway” had to start somewhere …

After the lady was put in jail for attempting to attend the all male diversity committee meeting; people thought it was all over, and could be forgotten.

But … NO!!!

Now, you had to prove that you were a male before attending the meeting.

Art class? I thought this was a slave auction

My kind of job. Only standing for 8 hours will be tiring.

The next day, the school principal sat the new-hired coach down and explained the proper way to do “skins versus shirts”.

The nude model had never been sadder, / for the King could not be any madder. / Gustav’s close-up inspection / (and a recent infection) / made the lad lose control of his bladder.

(Rewritten as a test to see whether replies go unseen by many Priceless readers.)