Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for September 12, 2021

Telizabeth Aylor

One time my bones were 32% water.

May the Lord be with you.

A man sits down in a restaurant and orders a bowl of soup. The waiter brings the soup, but shortly thereafter the man calls him back to the table. “Yes, Sir?” the waiter says.

“Taste the soup.”

“Is it too hot, Sir?”

“Taste the soup.”

“Is it too cold, Sir?”

“Taste the soup.”

“Is it too spicy, Sir?”

“Just taste the soup.”

“Is it too bland, Sir?”

“Just taste the soup!”

“Oh, all right; I’ll taste the soup…uh, where’s the spoon?”

“a-HA!”

The Bornean Rajah Scops owl was probably wearing colored contacts the whole time to evade those pesky bird watchers.

So if your eyelids were 0.6 millimeters thick (take that, Jason Snake Lover!), what’s that equivalent to? Stand notebook paper if I had to guess.

The water is probably mostly in the marrow.

I don’t think that the thinnest skin on a human male’s body is on his eyelids.

I have a stupid short joke, which has nothing to do with ethnicity or…uh…violation. The bone thing reminded me of it. So, this woman tells this guy “I broke my arm in two places.” The guy says “Wow, you should stay out of those places!”

According to a book I own, Taylor behaved like a narcissist during filming.

The movie It’s A Wonderful Life had even worse financial trouble. They lost more than half a million dollars on it. The only thing that made it popular is that they let the copyright lapse; allowing the tv stations to show it for free.

CLEOPATRA may have been the “highest-grossing” film, but it was still a flop. 1963 was not a good year for American cinema.

And of course Liz’s eye lids were three inches thick.

Take care, may ignored Motion Picture Academy member Randy Slavord be with you, and gesundheit.

So how many people pinched their eyelid to see if it was true?

Marylin Monroe’s complaint to 20th Century Fox was about how she was paid so little when her movies made so much money for Fox while Liz Taylor was getting a million for Cleopatra which lost a ton of money for Fox. She didn’t win but was looking forward to her final days with Fox when she could make her own movies and stop being the dumb blonde, which has led to speculation that she wasn’t depressed enough to try to kill herself when she overdosed, and that it was an accident. See “Marylin and Jaqueline at the Carlisle Hotel,” a short one-act play script on Amazon Kindle for free, if you are interested.

look like bright yellow eyes to me

Didn’t Water World and Heaven’s Gate knock Cleopatra off the “most over budget to box-office take” perch?

I wish. Mine are brittle.

A few years later, exposed by courtroom lawsuits, we found out about Hollywood bookkeeping.

The thinnest skin on any human body is found on conservative Americans.

At his age it’s more difficult to hide quickly any longer.

Cleopatra had a lot of high end acting talent that ran costs up, that plus the sets, costumes, etc. There were frictions, as well, with Rex Harrison demanding equal billing with Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton.

I am sure the Bornean Rajah Scops owl was seen all the time by the locals, but no one bother to report it for 125 years because they didn’t know it was missing.

For Caldonia – One time I was asked if I broke any bones. I said “yes”. Then asked “which bones?” Answer, “2 places on the left shoulder” Asked if it hurt a lot. Answer "I assume so. HE was screaming at the top of his lungs!

More importantly, how much of your brain is air?

I love the one about the owl! That’s so cool!!

I expected the much longer punchline version, where the cat (or sometimes the dog) died because the roof collapsed, because of the house being flooded, because of the fire, because the mother forgot to turn the stove off when she went to the store to buy some flowers for the father’s funeral.

I’m not buying the “thinness” of an eyelid. It has to be thicker than that.