Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for July 29, 2021

He began to regret not going to another sporting goods outlet to buy his equipment. The store he frequented had a very limited stock in sporting goods, mostly catering to juvenile and pre-teen needs.

When I was a child we bought supporters

My legs and waist weren’t like these huge balloons

Now I’ve got the feeling that I’ve gained

About one hundred pounds and grown taller

By another foot or two

Mine has become uncomfortably snug

Pink Frog: Uncomfortable Snug – Dark Frogs on the Moon

Must be that famous clothier, Jock Strap!

…not all of us can be athletes…

…some of us are athletic supporters…

…your cup runneth over…

…but was it half full or half empty?…

…‘cuz you see…

…your beach handball shorts aren’t short enough…

…if your cup is not runneth over they are too too long…

…you are fined cash money if there ain’t no taint no…

…satisfaction…

…if you don’t reveal more than the Olympic divers you must be taking a dive…

…and integrity is important to us here at the Olympics…

…so show your work or you won’t be able to play against the Israeli…

…panic attack or no panic attack…

…the Sports Illustrated cover jinx must continue…

… e-pluribus funk…

…poppa’s hot a brand new bag…

…and Sharif don’t like it…

Hey,is ice cream cones a nut cup of protections or the nut strap of protections? A few sprinkles in the toity so you won’t care now or later.

Only the fortunate can say that

Common sense will tell you if your cup runneth over, one needs a bigger size to protect the family jewels…until then, please refrain from wearing short shorts….

Reminds me of a certain gag card (in both senses of the word). The butt-crack guy. You probably know the one to which I refer.

Braggart!

I thought I recognized Vladdy’s Uncle Alexei! He was always such a kidder.

If your cup is full, may it be again…

Braggart.

Beer spewing memory: Old friend brought a date to his apartment … she sees an athletic cup sitting on top of his tv and asks, “Hey, is that an oxygen mask?” … then grabs it, and proceeds to put it over her nose & mouth …!

the latest in a string of vaguely suggestive comics . . . . keep ‘em comin’!

Carl had come to the painful realization that all his worldly worth, all his earthly possessions were crammed into a borrowed jockstrap.

He claimed no understanding of the underlying mechanisms of the world, but he did know that somehow, being aware of this was altering the DNA of children being conceived in the present. His own DNA had also been altered, perhaps because he was the epicenter of the changes being made. He had been alive for over two hundred years now, and had changed his identity three times already. He had reverted to his original name in this current story arc. His only theory was that he was somehow producing available telomerase without also producing cancers. It wasn’t possible to seek a professional medical opinion, due to the huge secret he was keeping. How he could be changing the DNA of persons conceived within his sphere of influence, which seemed to have roughly a ten mile radius, was also unknown. But the effects, while subtle, were unmistakable. Children today were smarter, faster and stronger than in his childhood, and the effect followed him. So he kept moving.

Is that Lars?

You gotta know when to hold them, know when to fold them.

Well, isn’t that awkward?

Too much manly parts, or too little cup, either way there is the potential for an embarrassing unintended public display of virile overflow. Of course, all true Froglandians are quite worldly-wise, and they would not react impolitely but rather would be the very models of discrete decorum. Any senior Froglandian athlete appreciates that with patriotic pride!

Remove the cup before you pee and that won’t happen.

Too much info.