Kliban by B. Kliban for July 26, 2021

Always wanted to write an old-school western, like Zane Grey or Louis Lamour, about the mysterious dark stranger who shows up in town one day. Immediately, the rumors start: “I heard he shot a man over in Sidewinder Gulch”.

The stranger overhears and corrects the rumormonger: “Friend, you heard wrong. I happen to come from Sidewinder Gulch Heights”.

And so it has remained to this very day.

Cortez the Developer.

You name a development after a real visual observation. Welcome to Two Dogs Mating Meadows and Happy Puppy Acres.

I just wish that the King of Spain would stop trying to collect taxes from me.

Makes me think of the Eddie Izzard routine. “Do you have a flag?”

Holy Crestview Acres

So why don’t we celebrate Crestview Day?

Soon to be Crestview Acres ESTATES.

Hernando von Drump – acquisitive ancestor of an infamous failed and disgraced developer whose name is not to be spoken.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AR2-OzyDRI

I live in Quail Run, next to Wildlife Acres. Guess what’s missing now. But we do have European sparrows and starlings and weeds instead. :-(

Crestview Acres – Soon to open a senior living wing.

Pre-Comic Sans?