Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for May 19, 2021

No preamble needed for tonight’s hit-and-run joke. (Should that be “joke-and-run”?)

A nurse walks into the examination room and tells the doctor he needs to sign some important medical documents. “I’ll be right out, just as soon as I start taking this patient’s temperature.”

Out in the reception area, she hands him the papers. He sits down and begins to sign. However, his signature doesn’t appear on the dotted lines.

“What’s wrong with this pen, Nurse?” he asks impatiently.

“Um, that’s not a pen, Sir – that’s a thermometer.”

The doctor takes a close look and says, “You’re right; this IS a thermometer…where’s my pen?”

Ank Haaron One time I got 2,298 runs batted in.

One time I saw a wild bird hatch a chick at age 71.

Stannon Shevens

May the Lord be with you.

Naturally, that outhouse was in the woods. (Was the Pope there, too?)

What would you do if someone pooped on you?

That poor bear. It must’ve been so grossed out in that outhouse. And all the known birds—I wonder how many birds they, whoever they are, know.

Aren’t we a few months’ late for the Hank Aaron tribute factoid?

I’ll wager Shannon might have had a bit of performance anxiety in subsequent bog visits.

I know I’ll try not to remember this story ’next time – for me!

Old Hank schooled a lot of pitchers and a lot of non-believers in his time.

How wild can the albatross still be, if someone is always within range of its nest?

The drawing and the videos show the bear was under the outhouse seat. So the question is, did some numpty build an outhouse over a bear den?

Shannon— I HATE when that happens!

That bear knows Grade A rump roast when he sees it!

That was a high class outhouse it had a BEARdette.

That’s what happens when you bear your ass.

Presumably it was a Very Brown Bear.

Albert Pujols, now with the Dodgers, is at 2,112, and has a good shot at the record.

Why that dirty old bird.

Bear butt bites are common in Alaska.

Poor Ms. Stevens – I hate when that happens!

❤️ ʕ⚆ᴥ⚆ʔ ❤️ Ѡ

Wonder what the bear thought of Ms. Steven’s derriere.

A lot of animal lovers in the house today. Only one sympathizer for dear Shannon.

I can believe a bear in the wilderness bit her ‘butt ’. What’s unbelievable is she got to live to tell about it.

I thought all that growling was just gas…

someday wisdom will finally puzzle out what causes babies…

I wonder the woman didn’t notice the BEAR before she got close enough to bite.

In Slumdog Millionaire our friend gets locked up in the outhouse and has to escape thru the hole right into a big pile of Shhh…aving cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you’ll always look keen.

That woman should know, LOOK BEFORE YOU SIT.