Herman by Jim Unger for April 12, 2021

“Today I’ll eat at the diner.”

Just give me a bowl of cereal. You can’t burn that.

If you cook the wrong egg, we’ll have to deal with a very angry ostrich.

Aged eggs.

“You’re getting my eggs confused with me toast, dear!”

When I was in college, I was at a party at my friend’s house and decided, by prior agreement, to spend the night rather than drive home after consuming alcohol.

At that time in my life, I did not eat breakfast. The following morning, the conversation with his mother went like this.

“What would you like for breakfast?”

“Just coffee.”

“How many eggs would you like?”

“Just coffee.”

“How would you like them cooked?”

My friend turned to me and said, “We’ve known each other for several years. You should know my mother by now: take a dive in the first round. She’s going to win anyway.”

If he’s reading the financial pages or the employment ads, the eggs are the only things going black this a.m.

I have to assume she’s not talking about the shells.

Stick to the dark brown. Black ones are a little overdone.

Not enough rollers in her hair.

Didn’t know there was a choice as it depends on the color of the chicken.

She’s a keeper…..

I’ll take mine at the diner.

Raw please. He’ll take his chances with Sam and Ella…

I like my women and my toast brown but not burnt.

Like he has a choice.

The eggs must be rotten or she doesn’t know how to cook

How do you want your eggs? How about edible.