Free Range by Bill Whitehead for April 08, 2021

Get the bird a "beak"er of water.

A 500 pound parrot says,‘Polly wants a cracker,NOW’.

I’m surprised Polly didn’t get cancelled for calling him a cracker.

Hmmm, wonder what parrot tastes like!!!

Those online psychology courses Polly has been taking may yet be the death of her.

Suggestions for Next time: Don’t nag. Just don’t be annoying.

Nail it to the perch and sell it to John Cleese.

Parroting Adorno.

…and you’re such a lard-butt I doubt you have the energy to walk into the kitchen where we keep the crackers!

Polly seems to be firing on owl cylinders.

When my daughter was young, I told her to go up to her teacher and say:

I know what a cow says: moo!

I know what a horse says: neigh!

I know what a 500 pound gorilla says: me want banana. NOW!

Just wait until Polly starts being passive-aggressive…

Crackers are so yesterday, I want fruit and nuts, and a little vitamin water would be nice.