Herman by Jim Unger for April 10, 2021

Yoinks! Zounds, even!

That’s not just having babies, that’s having a litter of them.

Back before ultrasound was common, it was possible to be surprised by that. My mother was surprised by twins.

So the older ones are the twins, but I wonder how she gave birth to them at the same time.

“That doesn’t explain why she didn’t make breakfast.”

With the volume discount that comes to $38,478.00

She’s been a busy woman!

She waited until the bars closed so he could be there if he wanted.

Each was a year or so apart.

Uh, I need to go to the store for cigarettes…

We just came in to get our vaccinations.

Needs a sign- NO LITTERING

Old joke: Ole doc made a visit to the farm house where the farmer’s wife was ready to birth her baby.

He had the farmer hold the lamp so he could see what he was doing. After doc delivered the baby, he told the farmer, “Keep holing the lamp; there’s another one.”

He delivered the second baby and said, “Wait, there’s one more.” and delivered it too.

As soon as he delivered the third baby, the farmer turned off the lamp.

The doctor complained, “What are you doing? I can’t see a thing!”

The farmer told him, “The light’s drawin’ them.”

Tell her for me I’m outta heeeeeeeere!

“But, wait! There’s more…”

You poor man. I have two kids and they drive me nuts.

Talk about your shock and awe. WOW!! He’ll need a room next.

“Lassie is doing well. You can visit her and the pups in Kennel 3.”

A professor I had in college had a very large young family. His wife gave birth to twins the first time, triplets the second, and twins again on the third go-round. He had a vasectomy after that!

Oh, there was no history of duplicate births on either side of the family…

Sir? Sir? Now where did he go?

I’ve old guys driving 2 seater sports cars and the women sitting next to them look like dogs.

he’s still standing… I’m impressed

She’s been working on her quads

What a delivery THAT was!

Well, his life is now over. Welcome to Hellsville and Paupertown.

One sort of wonders at what point good news becomes not-quite-so-good.

He’s dead!!!

…and he got a migraine at 2:27 A.M.

Put on a pot of coffee. It’s going to be a long night.

Still need a few more to round out the volleyball team.

When does the next train leave for anywhere?……

A nurse I knew told about a young couple who came into the hospital for their first child. They wanted a natural birth, no unnatural medical interference. The husband had a book on natural child birth to which he referred often. After a very long day and night of labor, they agreed to an ultrasound which showed twins. When given that news the husband said “twins! What’s that!” and started to look it up in the book.

It is a bit crude but I recall a med student in my college days who was good with the quips. Somehow the discussion got to large families and multiple births when he decided to opine.

“Somebody needs to tell these women that it’s a vagina and not a clown car.”

That went along with the remark he made to a defensive girl.

“You know Little Lady, it’s a vagina and not a pez dispenser.”

Quadruplets

Hooray, I have a boy.

Are we sure this isn’t a veterinarian’s office?

Quads

i kid you not my son in law has quads, 3 girls and a boy, grown now. my step grands.

Holy!