For Better or For Worse by Lynn Johnston for May 06, 2021

being a musician, Phil should have the organ.

Do sibling rivalries end when the siblings are adults? Nope, they still continue into adulthood.

That’s why I am going to have every thing sold and the money can be divided between them.

Well, they need to have those things appraised to make sure the value of those antiques is divided equally between them.

Have they asked their parents if they’re keeping any of that stuff?

I don’t think I want anything but that clock I broke as a child, so I can finality get it fixed. I call it the Clock of Guilt. They never cared about it, it just collects dust, but I feel Guilt from Hades whenever I see the thing.

Get a CamCorder and Video tape this. And then you can show them the tape a few years down the road. And let them think what they looked like to the rest of their family.

There’s nothing like the division of someone else’s possessions to bring out the worst in people.

Why not let Mom and Dad choose?

If you can’t play the instrument then you shouldn’t have said instrument.

Never having been in this situation, it seems like a simple solution would be to conduct this like a player draft in pro sports: Rightful heirs draw lots to see what order they make picks and then each gets a turn to select one item at a time until everything is disbursed. Period.

When our mother died the five of us divided her possessions in an afternoon. Donated what was left and sold the house in two months. Settled the estate in six months and distributed the proceeds. No fighting. Lots of love and memories. Lucky us for having great parents.

I’ve been through this twice.

With my parents who got what was decided when we my brothers were little. I may or may not have been born yet when things were divided so they got the antiques that were in good condition, while i was left the rickety pieces that fell apart when it was time to move them.

My Grandmother’s possessions were again preselected by her children. Everyone got what they were supposed to, except my mother died before my grandmother so her share of the furniture and paintings were redistributed. No one bothered to let me or my brothers know about this, so being the only one from our branch of the family still living near by i was brought along to help move all the furniture and things to my assorted Aunts and Uncles and cousins homes. For my work i was given 3 boxes of assorted junk that no one else wanted and the leftover open packages of food from the pantry that they couldn’t donate to a food bank.

Needless to say i am not close to any of my family anymore as I have spent my life struggling financially while they have for the most part lived charmed lives in terms of money, jobs, children, etc. i was the only one who lost both parents while i was still in school, and the impact on my grades of coping with their deaths affected my chosen career path, which impacted my income.

Other than a few pictures from the old photo albums, I told my siblings I didn’t want anything, it was all theirs to divide up. Worked out well for me.

Patterfoobs ripping at the corpses of their parents..

On the flip side to yesterday’s post…Before my mother died, she had put notes on all of the things in their apartment. What wasn’t staying with my dad went to whomever’s name was on it. There are 6 of us (originally 7, but my younger brother died at age 21) and absolutely no arguments. When my father died, not only was the rest divided in the same way, but one of my siblings (who preferred to remain anonymous) gave me their share of the money, knowing that things were really tight for us. Yeah, I have the best siblings ever.

I have a small Revere pan and perennials that my father used to grow. Oh, and family pictures that I scanned and handed out to the family on flashdrives.

Who gets the Starsky though?

It sounds like Elly wants things for sentimental value while Phil is looking to make a quick buck selling them.

The claws come out when we are “mine”-ing over an estate.

I highly recommend the book “Why Don’t You Want My Stuff?!” by Josh Levine for anyone who is looking ahead at liquidating his/her own (or someone else’s) estate.

My parents owned 9 homes, and much assorted goodies. I told them the only thing I wanted and it was granted to me. 1956 Chevy car, I owned that car until about 5 years ago, finally selling it.What remains of my parents “estate” is the home my mother lives in, now owned by Uncle Sam because of the 15 years my dad spent in assisted care facilities paid my Medicare. They take everything you own before they “assist.”

Arguing over stuff that is not even theirs…I’ll never get that.

“Never say you know a man until you have divided an inheritance with him” – Johann Kaspar Lavater

Easy peasey. Flip a coin. Winner divides stuff into 2 piles. Loser gets to choose.

sadly, even when we have all we want as siblings, greed will come to the surface

I am extremely grateful for the fact that neither I nor any of my brothers have any particular interest in our parents’ stuff. If my mother were to unexpectedly die, I think the one thing I’d want is the wheelbarrow — because she borrowed it from me about five years ago and never gave it back! :-P

She’s also a hoarder; it’s gonna be a PAIN going through all of her stuff when the time comes.

While they squabble their parents haven’t heard back, so they’re having a yard sale.

Don’t their parents get a say in who gets what? I know my mother had the last word and it helped a lot.

For me my sister took most of mom’s stuff, the furniture we gladly sold, the inn tables I had no use for, she even took mom’s wedding ring, our mom’s car I gained including the expense of having to repair, finally had to sell, the car 30 years old timing gear went out, so I know what Elly and Phil is arguing on parent’s stuff. My mom also had brother/sister whose sister got so mad at brother, did not speak to him for over 40 years, reason parents personal stuff and the house on selling.

They are arguing over the stuff, and nobody has even died yet!

i’m watching the old movie of my in-laws squabbling over their father’s estate… sad.

AGAIN! Elly has no room for the pump organ. She barely has room for April.

I remember growing up my dad and his sisters got into a fight over an Edison phonograph!!!

None of this in my family. No one but me wanted anything…

I’d say a poker game is due.

Only over money…..

As I’ve always said, “when parents pass away, if there is more than one heir, the long knives come out”. Thank God, my wife’s mother had everything written out in a trust, so there was no wiggle room for the two daughters to try and steal from the other.

Best way to handle this is to number everything, place the numbers in a hat, and whatever number you draw, that is what you get.

I often thought being an only child (as I was) was the worst thing in the world. This makes me see that there are a lot worse situations than onlyness.

I have a bunch of stuff they can have for free if they just show up at my place with a truck.

My brother and I had the opposite argument when my Mom passed. He lived in an already over-stuffed condominium and I lived in a small 3-bedroom home in Florida. None of Mom’s heavy 1930’s Chippendale-style furnishings would fit in his place or go with my Caribbean/Southwestern furniture fusion. Most of the knick-knacks, keepsakes, pictures, etc. had already been labeled for distribution among Mom’s various nieces, nephews, godchildren, and friends. All I wanted were some photo albums and a couple of pieces of my Mom’s jewelry as remembrances.

I can remember arguing with my brother that since he had been the one who had lived near to her and had to watch out for her and chauffeur her around, that he should take the good silver, dishes, etc., etc. He tried to insist that since I was the oldest that I should have the stuff. Big brother prevailed! I flew back to Florida with suitcases that were not overweight.

And beyond! That is what purgatory is for!

https://www.fairsplit.com/

My dad died when I was 19, mom when I was 49. Her will stated that I was to have first choice of the furniture. I had already stated that all I wanted was the two bookcases (and the books) and the Fostoria crystal. My brother took the couch, my sister took one bedroom suite. Neither of them needed furniture. Most of what I had was already hand-me-downs so they thought I should take all the rest of the furniture. “You don’t have anything, you need it.” I ended up taking the fake early American dining room furniture just to shut them up. Never liked that furniture and still don’t but they are both gone now, none of my brother’s kids or grandkids are interested, so I’m stuck with it. Wouldn’t get enough selling it to be able to buy anything else. Some people just can’t understand that if you have a houseful of stuff you don’t like, you still don’t really have anything…

It’ll all go to Goodwill when I’m gone—if they’ll take it.

Be glad you get anything!

kids always argue about what stuff they want after their parents die. Which is why I left after my mother died. I let my 2 sisters argue over everything. After they took what they wanted, I came back and picked up my mothers collection of Shakespeare’s plays on old 33rmp records.

My kids are already fighting over who gets my music system with Bose speakers, Teac Tape and Cassette player/recorder and Pioneer turntable all of which I bought in Hong Kong in 1971

Many a divorce ends this way. Easy way out. Take turns. Who goes first? Winner of a coin toss. Other way out – metaphor – stand on opposite sides of a reasonable large room. The dispute is like a head of cabbage being tossed back and forth by the parties. Everything that falls on the floor is cole slaw for the lawyers. Paying two lawyers several hundred dollars an hour apiece to resolve who gets the jelly jar glasses from Welch’s or the plates purchased with S&H Green Stamps is a very costly way to handle things.

There you have a reality check that most will face at some point in life. Hang on for the ride, folks. It ain’t pretty.

Ooh, I bet the tea service, hutch, and glass lamp are beautiful. I’d definitely want those.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D550Pu6UcAAXej7.jpg

My 2 sisters were doing that crap when our Mother passed away. I was disgusted and left.

I will never understand the attachment to things. Unless, of course, it’s Mom & Dad’s book collection.

This is exactly, exactly what I hate. It makes good people seem like some sort of vultures picking over the carcass …

Options. Coin toss or 3 out of 4 rock, paper, scissors

My sibs took everything when our folks passed, of course, THEY still lived there. :P

For a complete change of subject-

Oh my goodness, Michael looks so adult in that from the back shot. His face and form have been depicted as growing more mature for the last year or so, but this image just struck me- not just tall, but his hair and his shoulders- as such a great illustration of a young MAN as opposed to a BOY.

I love how this comic moves in real time. I know it’s not alone in that, but I think it’s always done a great job with the growth and change of the characters.

I’ve been through a similar situation, it’s not fun. A will solves things, not the disappointment or anger, but… well, maybe it doesn’t.

The reality is that the pump organ is almost certainly either semi-functional or nonfunctional and will require a complete restoration. So is Phil up to that? Or Elly? And good luck finding someone to do the work for less than thousands.

When it comes to sibling rivalry nothing can be more sweet.

Reminds me of two dogs fighting over a groundhog carcass. Grizzly and disgusting!

When my Mom died, my brothers and I got together and no one really wanted anything except a couple pictures. Which we had hi-def scanned so we could all have copies. After that we hired someone to clear out the house, sell what could be sold, donate what could be donated, and dispose of what was left. I feel bad sometimes that there wasn’t really anything that any of us wanted. But on the plus side, no fights!

The unrealistic thing here is most kids (any age) don’t want their parents old things, especially BIG old things. My in-laws house is jam packed with stuff. My husband says he might someday want a certain clock, but the rest can be sold or given away.