Free Range by Bill Whitehead for March 09, 2021

Much too late to “retrieve” his reputation.

Here, fetch this!!!

Fake throw his halo for him a few hundred times.

Oh-Oh! Guess, there’s not a dog’s chance for me to come to heaven, too

Send him to fake heaven.

Dang. I never knews talking doggies were in charge over there.

Actually it was the times that he only pretended to throw the stick that caused the problem.

“Would a song and dance do it?”

Is he in the right place? This place looks like it’s for the dogs.

Now, who’s (not) a good boy?

It’s … it’s … The plaid shirt again!

Fake throwing a stick is lying to a creature who trusts you absolutely and adores you completely. And you’re lying to them so you can laugh at them for trusting you.

I have no false hope for a heaven. Good thing i do not believe in rewards.

“And there’s another thing… You’ve been spelling my name backward!”

And don’t expect any open arms at the cat gate. Those excessive games of laser pointing on the wall got really old with them.

Maybe you should try Hog heaven.

Luckily for you there is a loophole in paragraph 7… you were throwing fake sticks! :>)

Don’t all those treats count in my favor ?

If there are no dogs nor cats allowed in Heaven, then send me where they go – I’d rather be with them than any human being I’ve ever met.

I’m an insomniac agnostic dyslexic. I lie awake at night, wondering if there is a Dog.