Close to Home by John McPherson for January 03, 2021

What a deal. Sorry folks you don’t have five minutes. Run Bleeb fire is a coming.

What the seller doesn’t have insurance on it

“Plus, the sellers will throw in a new in-ground barbecue pit.”

BLEEB is BACK

It’s a trap!!!

Somewhere in Hawai’i

Livin’ la lava loca.

Welcome to Tiny Volcano Subdivision. The President of the HOA lives behind you.

They can’t hear a volcano erupting?

My, how very generous of them to do that.

A volcano? Not in my backyard!

Very motivated seller.

First Bleeb sighting of 2021. Now I can truly start my new year.

Que up Jimmy Buffets Volcano album.

Aw yes. The Kilauea home owners association strikes again.

Good thing no-one noticed the volcano.

Gather ‘round kids, it’s time for another mask story from yer ol’ Uncle Dobie!

So there I was, I had just stopped at the local convenience store to snag me my mornin’ Red Bull, and I did the usual stuff, you know… like pull into the parking lot, park the car, set the parking brake, turn off the engine, put on my mask before going in this time, ‘cause after that last incident, I remembered to grab one before I left the house. Well, I went inside and lo and behold, the same clerk was there from my last episode of mask dumbassery, but this time I was properly equipped!

As I went inside, headed for the cooler to snag a Red Bull… y’all know I gots ta have my Red Bull, right? Especially before reading the comics, it’s like a thing with me, and might be the reason I talk so much, and get to jibberin’ and such… heck, it might even be a… whoa, did y’all just feel this porch move? Annnyhoo… so while I was inside, I noticed all the other patrons were snickering and pointing at me! Well, I knew the clerk was the same guy, so I thought… no, these can’t be the same people that saw me act a fool the last time! So, when I couldn’t figure out what the heck everybody was laughing about, I just quickly paid for my Red Bull and got outa there!

Well, when I got back in my car, I just happened to see myself in the rear view mirror, and that’s when I noticed what everyone was laughing about!

As it turns out, I made a huge mistake when I reached in a drawer and grabbed my mask on the way out of the house! I wasn’t wearing a mask at all… it was actually one of your Aunts bras… folded double!

Now kids, it goes without saying, that I would appreciate it, if you didn’t mention this to your Aunt. I haven’t exactly figured out if she managed to pull off an absolutely fantastic practical joke, or I just screwed up while leaving the house!

But kids… y’all know my record by now… so I’m leanin’ more towards the latter!

Living next to a volcano is as silly as building on a flood plane or right on a beach.

Eventually Nature will destroy all your efforts and you can’t blame anyone else for your own short sightedness.

I watched a “Househunters International” in which the house hunters actually said that they wanted to have a great view of the volcano that was on the island! I wanted to say, “You might want to rethink that.”

Wait a minute, the sign says “For Sale”… now is it the alien bug underneath the sign that’s for sale… the house that’s for sale, or is it the erupting volcano in the back yard that is spewing molten lava and magma to the tune of 2400 degrees F, slowly flowing down the sides burning, melting and destroying everything in its path, that’s for sale… cause if it’s all three, I’m saying that…

… we might just have a deal, where the heck do I sign?

Though, a volcano in your own back yard is pretty cool or hot or whatever the new term is today…..

How quick can you get insurance?

Pompeii Estates?

They can’t smell the sulphur? Cartoon physics strikes again. lol

It still won’t be “theirs” until closing so they can back out, and will no doubt it fails the home inspection.

What could go wrong?

Speaking of horizons, it’s closing in.

Hard to believe there is no noise or vibration associated with that eruption!

Thank you all for missing me. I am touched, and it is good to be back from Zorkon! The balgonia smog there is awful.

run bleeb run

See also: https://www.gocomics.com/fminus/2006/12/11

Signing the deal and the actual closing at different. The house won’t be actually sold when it’s destroyed by the volcano.