Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for December 19, 2020

Chenry Hurch

The fact said just about every person, but are there any people who don’t have microscopic mites living in the pores of their faces?

May the Lord be with you.

So that means Mr. Church was approximately a teenager when the Declaration of Independence was signed in 1776?

Let’s hope they do it quietly otherwise no-one will get any sleep.

Clearasil, don’t fail me now!

They can use my face at night if they want to—I’m not using it.

I was perfectly content NOT believing that.

Basically 300 pounds of salad without dressing; so, nothing on the hips.

Just about every person has face mites? Why doesn’t every person have them? What kind of soap does the miteless use?

I’ve never tried mating whilst asleep, but hey, makes sense of the expression ‘In your dreams’.

Mites getting sexually frustrated while you read your Ipad at 2am.

That’s a mite strange, if you ask me. So don’t ask me.

Take care, may the Trord be with you, and GESUNDHEIT.

And here I thought it was my wife telling me to roll over: it was just some horny little dude trying to get to his wife.

From now on, I think I’ll wash my face in the middle of the night.

Time for a new face wash routine: alcohol, witch hazel, tea tree oil, lavender oil, napalm.

I bet face mites hate insomniacs. Just as a side note, doesn’t that mite look just like the Tingler from the Vincent Price horror flick.

Holy Microscopic Mites!

If “Old Hundred” looked the way he did in the drawing, his OBVIOUS racial profile could be questionable.

Micro mites might: Believe it.

Mr 100: Or not!

Elephants weighty diet: Believe it.

May Henry Ford be with you.

Hey! I should at least be getting rent from those little bugger(er?)s… ☺

wow, huh, and how ’bout that

Henry Church was a British soldier in General Cornwallis’ army. I guess he didn’t get General Washington’s memo.

It would take 1,200 ¼ pounders to feed each elephant. Franchises are available.

This explains waking up aroused in the morning.

I’m sure the ones with makeup and lotion on them get a lot more action!

Why isn’t the town called One Hundred and Nine? or “Old Henry”?

There once was a man with no mites/He had many sleepless nights/Wondering where are the bugs/Are they hiding in the rugs/Maybe that’s why I never get bites.

I also heard that those mites can’t poop, they just eat your dead skin until they get full of crap (literally) and explode

“Henry Church” is almost an exact translation of “Enrique Iglesias.”

Well, actually I don’t sleep to mate, so I have no idea when they crawl out.

Interesting comments today.

And I’ll bet Henry didn’t try to live on fast food – neither does the elephant…

I wonder how much a microscopic Mastodon mite can eat?

well, at least the mites are getting some action….

So someone’s mating on my bed at night – and it sure isn’t me.